- cross-posted to:
- nottheonion@lemmy.world
- cross-posted to:
- nottheonion@lemmy.world
this country is so fucking cool
You must log in or register to comment.
Cool. Let’s see the legislature’s browser histories.
My money says this guy can’t even close his closet door anymore for all the skeletons.
He’s in there with them.
Getting boned
Hi-oooooooo
Mr. Skelington? What are you doing to my dad?
Speaker of the House, Mike Johnson, loves talking about his creepy spy app he and his son have on their phone that alerts the other if they visit naughty sites. So the writers of this proposal and all that vote for it would be happy to put the same program on their devices and computers, right? And tie that straight to a public feed we can all see? Great Great.
See when I read this story it isn’t really that bad.
They believe porn is bad and use the app to keep each other accountable. I don’t really have an issue with that. You do you.
But when they start trying to enforce that view through the government it’s obviously not okay.
Aside from it being creepy as hell to do that with your son (who probably didn’t have a say in the matter) this is a massive national security risk. Spyware on a Congress member’s phone? Not a great idea.
I’m imagining they have government issued phones and private phones. The government issued one for sure wouldn’t be allowed to have that shit on it.
That sounds reasonable and so it’s probably not even remotely close to what actually happens.
The craziest thing about the Hillary Clinton private email server was not that she had it, but that her predecessors also used private email for government stuff as Secretary of State. Not a one-off, but the norm. Absolutely nuts.
I severely doubt they can install it on government equipment.
Can you imagine that IT request?
“In having trouble installing this app on my phone. It’s so my phone can be remotely monitored to make sure I’m not looking at porn.”
“Could you just not try to look at porn on that phone?”
“Sir, you have a federal government IT department. Which federal agency do you want to tell your family if you watch porn? Don’t worry they already monitor your personal devices too.”
Do you think Congress has the digital literacy and self discipline to keep separate phones and actually keep business separate between them?
Wasn’t it just recently that a congressman was found hoarding gold bars? What phone do you think he negotiated those from?
“Putin needs to make sure I’m not watching gay porn.”
It’s creepy because it’s his son, and he clearly is only doing it to control his kid.
You think the dad doesn’t have a second device that’s dedicated to wanking?
How dare you demand him by suggesting he has a masturbation phone.
It’s a Grindr phone…
Which only feeds his toxicity as no one on Grindr wants anything to do with this PoS.
I don’t have a problem between 2 consenting adults but monitoring a parent is creepy and weird. It’s likely a case of him trying to set an example and prove he too is compliant, to his son, but it’s just weird.
Just watched the Duggar documentary. This is shit they “voluntarily” do. If you don’t, you’ll likely suffer the ire of the elders and people in power.
And, as we learned from that same documentary, it’s pretty easy to get around it. If that homeschooled sicko Josh can figure out how to partition his devices, I’m guessing plenty of others have figured it out, too.
I don’t have a problem with their abstaining from porn, having personal feelings about its value or morality, or even using each other to remain accountable. I do think it’s a little dumb to put spyware on your device intentionally and to share with your child when you accidentally fall to temptation exactly what sort of smut you enjoyed. But that’s all them. Not my problem.
As you said the problem is when you’re legislating to restrict others from something you have a personal issue with, particularly when that thing is completely personal. So if they’re going to butt their way into the personal habits or desires of the general public, surely they have no problem sharing their own habits and desires with the public in return. And, in real time. I want to see what senators are jerking it to on their potty break during session.
Sure, you do you, but it’s still fucking weird.
Most people are weird.
Yes but there are varying degrees. This is way out there.
creepy spy app
The only thing that spy app is making them do, is hiding a second phone from everyone. Guarantee it.
pubic feed
hehe
Oops, a Freudian
Giant Cock In My Ass.Slip.
They’ll be exempt, obviously.
That’s why this will never pass.
It’s just virtue signalling from whoever is introducing it.
I’m sorry, I didn’t know we lived under Sharia Law.
It’s hilarious and ironic that Christian nationalists hate sharia law whilst wanting their own brand enacted.
They don’t hate sharia law because it’s abhorrent. They hate sharia law because it’s not Christian based.
But the differences are slight. Maybe won’t go as far down the oppression of women rabbit hole, but not for lack of trying. Merely because, I hope, our society is to far past that for them to drag us back that far.
Merely because, I hope, our society is to far past that for them to drag us back that far.
These women in Iran just before the Islamic Revolution in 1979 probably thought they were too far past it, too.
And guess which country caused that revolution…
Iran. Even if the British and American interference was abhorrent, an Islamic Fascist state wasn’t the only alternative they had.
Putting all the agency (and therefore responsibility) in imperial powers is also a form of imperialism.
Iran caused that revolution. They were fed up with a leader seen as a western puppet so they replaced him with religious extremist.
Everyone says “that’ll never happen” and then it does.
Inaction means suffering. Apathy is death.
Tomayto/tomahto, sharia/christo-fascist. Different pronunciations of the same thing.
Simple FYI… it should be just “Sharia”. Not “Sharia law”.
We aren’t speaking Arabian. It’s like “naan bread”, sure, naan means bread but not in this language and we’ve lots of other breads…If you just say Rye a Canadian will hand you a glass of whisky not a loaf of bread.
People know what Sharia is referring. If not, they’re not worth a conversation.
The language is called Arabic, but otherwise agree
Quiet, you, or I’ll start responding in Italic
That’s still a bad example. We don’t say that “I drive a XYZ car” since car is implied and we can just say “I drive a XYZ”
Check with any XYZ standing for a manufacturer like Toyota, Tesla or a model like Corolla, 911, etc.
If there’s enough understanding of the concept, no need for clarification. Everyone knows naan is a bread. Unless you are asking a question in Japanese, just drop the bread (and law for Sharia)
I drive a chevy truck
🤔
Sex dick? Really Oklahoma? Are you guys OK?
They want to ban porn because it might tempt those who desperately want to be one of the straights.
But seriously, that congressman is so scared of being gay that they want everyone else to give up porn so they won’t be challenged by easy dick.
I’m switching my VPN server to Oklahoma before my next wank.
Idk I’m more concerned about Minnesota with tickling
It’s the most polite form of sadism dontchaknow.
It’s… demented
Really living up to the shape of the state borders
Those poor, lonely Alaskans.
I like that of all the states, Hawaii and Utah remain on-brand.
It’s almost wholesome in a pornhub sort of way
Nevada too
The Dakotas sure are a pair.
It’s so dry there. They crave moisture.
So lonely they can’t even imagine porn with two human beings in it 😭
Lmao.
Sex dick.
Also, damn Arkansas. You nasty.
I’m proud to represent Illinois instead!
Florida finally gets a break. Unless the fantasy is involving both Oaklahoma and Arkansas.
I’m in Wyoming. There’s only ten of us here. The goth search was mine. The rest didn’t bother with PornHub after I explained that “bear sex” wasn’t going to give them the result they were expecting.
Idaho’s “dildo ride” absolutely tracks. I have been wearing a Bad Dragon cap for weeks (it’s an amazing hat) and it was a ~50 year old woman on the Idaho side of the mountain who recognized the logo.
EDIT: I am not joking. The caps are sick.
Damn, that IS a killer hat. Almost tempted to get one myself. But having no other actual affiliation with BD, it would make things super, super awkward once someone actually recognizes the logo.
Just smile, wink and walk away. I don’t own any of their proper products but I wasn’t going to pass up on a hat that nice, at that price.
I mean it can get them the result they’re expecting if they use the furry tag.
I am a guy whose proclivities are such that I’m probably never using a Bad Dragon. Still, I need this hat.
Same. Got the all black hat though.
Hawaii: Hawaiian.
So they’re just walking around with their kink/preference in their faces all day? Sweeeeeeet.
Only about 21% of the Hawaiian population is actually native Hawaiians.
Wasn’t it recently that we hit the mark where more native Hawaiians were living outside of Hawaii than were on the islands? It’s sad how the way their economy and obviously real estate is set up makes it difficult to live on the islands.
Nudist for Oregon and Sensual Sex for Washington make the PNW seem so wholesome and well adjusted. I wonder what BC is.
Sex dick. Jk it’s apparently Asian, here’s the link for canada (NSFW obviously)
“Nova Scotia likes “facesitting”.”
Welp, I won’t be watching Oak Island the same way again…
I live in Oregon. You get neo-hippies or neo-Nazis, no in-between.
Portland sounds both awesome and awful at the same time. Like there was a rebellion during the BLM protests where they took over some city blocks, which is cool. But things were bad enough that they caused a rebellion during the BLM protests where they took over some city blocks, which isn’t very cool.
*Sees people in Indiana search for ‘chubby.’*
*Looks around.*
Yep, that tracks.
Is the car sex in Arizona because it’s taboo to touch anything on the inside of a car in the summer? Like instead of the thrill of maybe getting caught that exhibitionists get, it’s the danger of accidentally burning yourself on the metal clasp of a seat belt?
Having lived there I will call that “plausible”
The inside of a car in Arizona is so hot!
Creamy…ew
Texans like sausage gravy all over some biscuits.
Wtf North Dakota. I refuse to believe there are multiple people up there typing “loud wet sex” into their search bars.
Classic Ohio
Shout out to Colorado. I’m wondering why Ohio’s is “small dick” lol.
I live in CO and a guy once (well, several times for months) told me I should be a dominatrix, not realizing my disdain was mostly exclusive to him, not men in general, but now I’m thinking I missed out on a lucrative career option. Well dang.
Is it ever too late to cash in on being a dominatrix?
No, I’m asking for real; I have no idea.
I’m not actually sure, but I’ll be 40 this year and I’m tired. I think I’d just end up being like, “yeah you were super bad, disobeying me and shit, your punishment is to fold the 4 loads of laundry I haven’t dealt with this week.” Also, there are a lot of things that can be dangerous in the hands of an amateur, and while I’m not opposed to hurting someone who wants it, I wouldn’t feel comfortable until I’d done a lot of training and practice, and ehhhh. I’d rather do other things these days.
@agent_flounder @frickineh I knew someone who made real good money running a dungeon. It was legal because there was no sex involved. Just guys willing to fork over money so they could be abused.
Considering the popularity of “dommy mommies” I imagine older women are accepted in those circles.
I respect you, North Dakota
Lmao @ big ass cop in DC
You know what, New Mexico, not gonna tease you, you’ve got a high native population and it probably does suck rarely seeing folks that look like you in porn. Same for you Hawaii.
Actually I feel like in a less sympathetic way Indiana gets the same treatment.
What about Ohio?
I can’t speak on Ohio. Most of the women I’ve slept with here that had one had a big one.
What the fuck is going on in Tennessee and Ohio?
…Smoking?
It’s a fetish. Some people enjoy seeing someone smoke while fucking and some people actually enjoy smoke being blown on them.
Virginia is also a giant tobacco producer.
https://encyclopediavirginia.org/entries/tobacco-in-colonial-virginia/
Actually looking at their other stats are shocking. Like I’m actually really surprised with how much lesbian content blows other searches out of the water women are significantly more likely to search it than men. Same for trans porn.
Also props to milfs for being the number 2 search term. Mom bods really are having their day
That guy watches so much porn
I don’t want to engage in slander, but just extrapolating from previous conservative projection, that guy has a 15 year-old Honduran boy chained in his laundry room.
😞 I really hope not. That’d be so horrible, yet the possibility lingers.
15? A bit old for a guy like him, isn’t he?
Let’s take bets on who’s getting caught first! Drag queens or some god-fearing dude??
Don’t pretend for a second itll actually be enforced against the in group
Everyone involved in pushing this law should be barred from working in government, and fined for wasting our time.
Just let them pass it then search their browser history. You know the only reason they’re so concerned about it is they’re ball’s deep into it.
I wish I didn’t live in my COMMUNIST blue state where I can freely watch porn, read books, receive healthcare, feed hungry kids, breath clean air, turn around in driveways without getting shot and an abortion if I or my 10 year old daughter gets RAPED! I would MUCH rather live in a Red State where it’s only legal to shoot homeless people, go to church and breath fumes from the coal plant next door unless it gets too cold and I freeze to death!
I agree with most of this, but don’t act like your healthcare is enough if you live in the US.
My healthcare is though, it’s just ridiculously expensive
This guy is nuttier than squirrel shit. Total christofascist.
https://x.com/DustyDeevers/status/1734792445789884779?s=20
Besides banning porn, he wants to ban no-fault divorce, and ban abortion with no exceptions. He called COVID vaccines a"mark of the beast", called for the jailing of Fauci, and the virus was engineering by Bill Gates to decrease population.
Please consider posting Nitter links, so it doesn’t give Musk a single cent in advertising by using privacy focused Nitter: https://nitter.net/DustyDeevers/status/1734792445789884779
Didn’t know that was a thing. Thanks!
I gotta say one “good” thing about Xitter being so stupid is that I don’t doomscroll the site like I did when I was on. While I’m glad that Nitter exists because we need to keep an eye out for crazy, anyone who wants to avoid doomscrolling and losing brain cells might want to skip that link for their mental health’s sake.
Taking bets on how long it takes (not if, but when) this man is hacked and found to be absorbed in the exact thing he’s trying to ban.
mmmm, smells like freedom
Ah yes, the party of small government strokes again
strokes
Not if this law passes.
Rules for thee and not for me
Notice they’re leaning in on law and order
This is like… Middle East religion police stuff.
Small government right?
Small enough to sneak into people’s private lives.
Funny how they paint the Muslim theocracy as the devil and proceed to do exactly the same without any of them batting an eye
Gotta keep the competition at bay.
If it wasn’t for the whole “brown people” thing, a LOT of folks in the US would love to do Sharia Law.
deleted by creator
Proof once again these delusional religious people need to fuck off.
I love watching our clueless citizens just allow this descent into fascism. Who knew it would be as simple as just not teaching kids what the word means.
would prohibit consuming or producing sexual content that “lacks serious literary, artistic, educational, political, or scientific purposes or value” in any medium.
So you get get around it with a whiteboard in the background that has a math equation on it. Kinda like you can get around the swimsuit ban on twitch if you have an inflatable pool with water in it in the background.
Maybe someone over there is watching porn for the story and is simply trying to ban porn without it. And I agree, I can’t take it seriously if I don’t understand my stepmoms motivation and background.
You’re gonna sit here and act like the stepsisters opinion doesn’t even matter? WHAT IF SHE GETS STUCK?
… Im starting to understand the importance of the proposed legislation. Maybe we need a government agency to officially rank/score porn by the plot quality. Maybe a system like RottenTomatoes (RottenAssholes?).
I prefer a more reputable site like CrushedMuff (14.5oz can)
Okay, now we’re going to learn about the numbers with Lana and Kelly Roses. First Kelly will count with me to 10…1, 2,…7, 8,9 and 10!.. oh my God! I just wanna count so much! Oh my God, I’m gonna count! Img gonna count!
Those carve outs already exist for state classification laws.
