Had to look this up: https://www.tiktok.com/@irisa_darius/video/7440554144097668395?lang=en

Seems like Darius is a guy with autism that makes noises on TikTok. His caretaker (mother?) seems to think it’s healthy to express himself and let off energy.

You block Fox News using a Pi-hole?

Lol nope, it was just an unlabeled camcorder tape. There’s a lesson to be learned here, which is be careful with unlabeled tapes. Hope you don’t find anything similar on your mom’s tapes!

Think of this from our perspective. We are two teenage boys. We find a hidden tape. We don’t know what’s on it. What’s the next logical move?

Or if you’re saying once the guy in the tape does his intro, what are you saying you’d do differently? Are you saying you’d send your brother out of the room so you could watch the tape of the guy jacking off by yourself? Cause that’s weird as fuck dude.

I reminded my brother of this and he responded https://youtu.be/reNvytfN820

Growing up, my brother and I found a camcorder tape hidden in the basement of the house we moved into like 6 months prior. We had to buy a mini tape to VHS converter so we could play the thing on our VCR.

It was a tape of some young dude in the our (now) basement going “this is going to be a video showing you how to make love to beautiful women.”

Me and my brother were like “hell yeah!” Then the guy in the video goes “but before you make love, you have to learn to love yourself.”

The entire video was then just this dude jacking off. We were so mad we went out of our way to buy a VHS converter just to watch this dude beating his meat. There were no beautiful women to be found.

Vance killing the Pope in order to get a chance at fucking the Pope-mobile is my new favorite head cannon.

Would be hilarious if Hollywood moved away from chess to show someone being smart and instead showed them yelling at teammates in League of Legends.

Edited for clarity:

Back in my day we used our phone plan money to pay for google play purchases / hand jobs.

At this point, you should respond and ask for sworn testimony from the person who wrote the ticket.

Moran*

spicy foods upset my stomach (I can eat them, but it has consequences).

Same. It sucks. My brothers have continually given me shit for decades for being a bitch that doesn’t like spicy wings. I’m like “dudes, it’s not that I don’t enjoy the taste, it’s that my stomach will literally cramp up 4 hours from now and I’ll be shitting pain.”

They don’t care.

I can also measurable lower my heart rate by conscious effort alone

I read somewhere a while back that people can learn to do this with training and a visualization. If you have a heart rate monitor that shows different color shades depending on your rate, apparently people can learn focus on making the color turn green and lowering their heart rate.

The craziest one was when we had a staff lunch, and she was like “Jimmy johns, roast beef, with mustard and hot peppers mix”

Next time she does that, say “joke’s on you, I actually just went down on the neighbor lady” and see how she reacts.

I thought everyone could do this. That’s a super power?!

Mr. Honda (74)… Soba Master Mr. Takeshita (81)… Mr. Fujii (68)

These are the people Japan considers “middle-aged”?! I’ve heard that Japanese people have long lifespans, but calling an 81 year-old “middle aged” seems a bit optimistic.

Neptune’s kiss… always unexpected. Never longed for.

I saw The Ring in the theater and people legit freaked the fuck out when she came out of the screen. One person straight up got up and ran out.

It depends on the version of Lemmy that your instance is running. My account is on sh.itjust.works which upgraded Lemmy versions a few months ago. Apparently it changed a parameter name that keeps track if a post has been read or not.

So on Sync, you can click on posts, but they never show as read. It’s super annoying, so I went back to Voyager.