Friend: Brings up really cool idea for something to do
Me: Awesome! When do you wanna do it?
Friend: blank stare uhhh, I’ll have to figure it out, this week isn’t good
EVERY TIME
I’ve started to schedule cool ideas for my friend group because otherwise they absolutely never happen
Unles you both agreed to a leader follower dynamic, When you bring up something cool to do and no one pitches in to help or suggest to take the weight off of only one person doing all the planning just to keep all a good time, then you’ll get it.
They don’t understand that the planning and setting expectations is what enables me to have fun.
“Who’s going?”
“How many people will be there?”
“How far of a drive is it?”
“What’s parking like?”
“How expensive is it there?”
These are all very important questions.
“Who are you and why are you texting me at 4am”
Don’t be so freaked out. It’s only 2 AM in my timezone.
Bruh you comin out or not?
These are all the questions my girlfriend asks me all the time and I give her the deer-in-the-headlights look.
I really need her in my life lolThey are tho
I prefer to contribute nothing then pull out last min at the slightest inconvenience.
Oh damn. The shirt I was gonna wear is stinky. Might as well just cancel plans. 😏
Bro we could use that in our group, we are at the point every few weeks someone says we should meetup and do something and we all say “yeah!” then nothing until a few weeks later someone else suggests we do something.
Huh, I didn’t realize my friends were on Lemmy…
I’ve taken to just scheduling things for my friend group. Kinda sucks that I have to take initiative but I like actually doing things more than hanging onto the idea of maybe doing things at some later point
Do a little research in advance to answer one of those questions yourself, and then send a message with that, and the rest of the questions. It takes pressure off the next person to send a message, since you’ve already done 1/4 of the planning, they won’t feel like they’re going to end up “in charge”. And once one person responds, it’ll flow more naturally into a conversation, as the stakes are lower for each new person joining in.
Something like, “It sounds like they don’t take reservations. We wanna show up as we can, or meet up first?”
Was this made by my wife? Are you her? She really has to know all the minutiae of the flow before deciding whether it’s worth going with.
Not a dig at her, btw. It can be frustrating to deal with in the moment (I’m more go with the flow than she is), but when we get there and everything goes smoothly, I genuinely appreciate her already having it figured out.
Holy shit, I fucking love this 😂
I’m sending this to anyone I’m making plans with for the rest of eternity
“Anyone finna give me a lift?” Offloads all those concerns to someone else and I no longer feel guilty about that
This is the way.
i bring a real “i dont go anywhere, or like being in public, stop asking me to join you or meet you in places i do not like, also i prefer staying at home” energy to the party that nobody likes to any degree.
Executive dysfunction go brrr
The 4W of planning an event: What, Where, When, Who. We instinctively answer these automatically when making a calendar event.
Once this is settled, you can elaborate on the How.
Yeah, but you always have tissues and mints and make sure the others join the conversation and that time you paid when my car got towed. Won’t ever forget it.
I always worry about parking. Getting towed is a hassle.
