This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can’t be giving out 20’s to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say “oh no, I donate to services that help the needy” because that person isn’t necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to “get rid of them” but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
Ignore and donate to a local shelter and/or kitchen. Do not encourage street harassment. I know it sucks and I know a lot of people are hurting. But community aid should not be divided based on who is the loudest, most aggressive, or most “convincingly in need” based on appearance. (If someone is hungry or thirsty by all means hook up the people in need in your community, never hurts to share food and water)
Or who can fight for that begging spot
Not to mention professional beggars that are hired from a company (black market) and don’t need the money. They are often more effective than the people that really need the money since are more relaxed about it.
It’s not tough.
Look them in the eyes like a human being and say “sorry dude, not today”.
Alternatively just carry small amounts of cash to give to them.
Another alternative is asking them if they would like some food instead.
No matter what you do, keep in mind you are very likely a small step away from homelessness yourself.
We tried giving one guy food in Chicago. He kind of wrinkled his nose and said something like “i prefer joe’s” or something. Can’t remember the exact place. Safe to say that our generosity got stifled on that journey after that.
Am not from states.
Someone isn’t entitled to your money. Just say no and move on. Don’t specify. They aren’t entitled to know if you have money on your person. They aren’t entitled to know if you can or can’t spare it. One word no. No and move on with your day. No isn’t sending them to prison camps. No isn’t voting against benefits that ensure people at least get fed if not sheltered. Say no even if you DO donate to charities that help people. 50 50 that person is living off begging until he’s got enough to buy the next hit or the next bottle.
When I was younger a person who I admired said:
“I always carry some extra money in my wallet for when someone needy asks. It’s not my place to decide if this person needs help or not. Maybe they will use the money for drugs, maybe they need the money for clothes for their children. When I die and get to the pearly gates, I don’t want to find out that I had the opportunity to help someone who needed help and I didn’t help them because I assumed they would spend the money on drugs. Maybe they will spend the money on drugs, but that’s not for me to know right now.”
I thought that was some of the most noble shit my early 20’s ass had ever heard.
Fast-forward a few years to me and my new wife honeymooning in…San Francisco. My noble naive ass brought a wallet full of cash with me so I could help people in need. Nothing terrible happened, but I soon ran out of cash and we decided to start handing out food. NOBODY WANTED THE FOOD. They just wanted the money. I would offer food, and they would just say “do you have any money?”
Anyway, nowadays I just say “sorry bro, I don’t carry cash”.
Less noble person: Always carry some extra drugs for when someone in need asks…
To be somewhat optimistic, in my experience going out to help homeless people, everyone gives food but there’s a lot of other stuff people need. Toothpaste, hand sanitizer, blankets, clothes, etc. are a lot harder to get. There’s also people who live in storage units and need money to cover that. And yeah, theres a lpt of people who just want to buy drugs, but tbh so would I if I had to deal with what they do.
If I were to become homeless, I wouldn’t be worried about finding food, I know where to go to get that, I’d be worried about everything else. Not wanting food doesn’t mean they don’t need help
Absolutely ignore them. I will forever vote and say we need to house them and feed them, idgaf. But give them handouts from my poor ass, directly? Hellll no. Negative reinforcement through omission. Begging is not the way. I would rather them rob places and start murdering politicians. This is an entire society problem, not a me problem.
And before anybody calls me selfish, no - it’s an issue of ability over scale. I can kill myself to absolutely help and try to fix one person, but it would cost me so, so much. And just like in a zombie game, if there’s only one zombie, you can melee or whatever. But if there’s a horde, you fix that shit with bigger guns or bring the crew.
What that means is, I’m not rich enough to fight zombies, so I’m walking away. And homeless people can ask me all they want, and I absolutely hold the social right to ignore them like any other person out there begging me to donate to their patreon or watch their ads or whatever they need in society to survive.
Fix the fucking system. Sorry, not sorry, but, capitalism, as it is right now, is not the way.
I wonder if the people saying they give money every time live in major cities (and walk often).
If I gave a quarter to everyone who asked me for change, I’d be out over $200 per year. Double that if they’re still going to ask me on my way back (which is likely).
Some of them would also be rolling their eyes at a quarter. Some panhandlers can even become aggressive if they don’t like what they get.
I’m not going to say that these people are going to waste the money on drugs, though some will (and I don’t care what they do with the money, really). But I’d rather…
- Donate that money to food banks and other causes
- Not carry around unnecessary change
- Not risk pulling out my wallet in the city (in case I forget to keep the change handy)
- And NOT turn city sidewalks into tolled walkways for people who can’t afford a car
As for what I do? I do the hand thing and apologize. I make eye contact (or at least look their way). If they ask again, I tell them I don’t have anything. There’s no reason to feel shame for not giving. Like someone else said, it’s a numbers game.
If there are regulars and people who are genuinely down on their luck, then (if you have the time and willingness), you could talk to them, and maybe offer to buy them food or something.
Of course, there’s always the chance that they’ll bring the food back and ask for a refund. But hey, they would’ve used your $20 the same way.
I wonder if the people saying they give money every time live in major cities (and walk often).
Honestly there’s panhandlers then there’s homeless. I get asked for money surprisingly few amounts of times from homeless and I usually throw them $5-10 every time if I have cash.
Frequent panhandlers I will never give money to. If you’re around the area a lot it’s pretty easy to know the difference.
That’s a great point. There are also a lot of career panhandlers where I live. Like, “getting picked up in fancy SUVs” career panhandlers.
I hope they’re just scam artists and not victims of human trafficking.
Which raises another point – sometimes giving money to people in the streets is supporting human trafficking.
You have to really know who your money is going to. And 9 times out of 10, I’d wager the money is better off being donated to services that support people in need than it is going into a takeout coffee cup at the end of a stretched out arm.
But food is still probably a great help no matter what, even if it is for a victim of human trafficking. Everyone needs to eat.
Yeah. Unfortunately it feels like the homeless situation further encourages mass car culture because youre a lot safer in there than walking at night especially if youre small or a woman.
Plus there’s the problem of literally giving them a quarter. I used to empty my pockets out for the first person I saw on my way out of work. But too often they would just throw change on the ground and get mad.
I get that they hoped for more but it is something and is what I hsd
Especially in Canada. A quarter can’t get you much of anything. You’d need 5 of them to get yourself the cheapest coffee. Probably more than one for a single piece of fruit, even.
I live in Los Angeles, I see homeless people regularly and give regularly. When I don’t have much money I don’t give much, when I have more I give more. I actually specifically got the ATM and make sure to carry $5 and $20 bills specifically for this. I am lucky enough that I can afford to give what I do but I regularly give people$20.
Just shake your head no and keep walking. Anyone asking for change in the street is used to rejection
A simple “no thank you” works for me if I feel that I need to say anything.
My wife & I were going into a restaurant one afternoon, and there was a man in a wheelchair with no legs below the knee sitting next door at the exit to Walmart. His sign said that he was a homeless vet. As we started in, I told my wife to hold on, and I ran over and gave him $20. When I got back, my wife said, “Did you just give that guy 20 bucks?” I said, “Yep, why?” She said, “You know he’s just going to spend it on alcohol.” I said, “I hope so, the guy ain’t got no legs, let him have a good drink!”
I tell them the truth, I don’t have any cash on me.
On the rare ocassion i do, I’ll give $10 - $20. Because I’ve been on the position where $20 is the difference between eating today or not, and it’s terrifying.
Yeah same, I give them money, but I don’t usually carry cash.
I made it a personal rule that if I have a $5, it goes to whoever asks. I don’t seek people out, but if it’s asked, and I have that five dollar bill with me, it’s theirs.
I say “sorry not today” or something similar but also offer food if I have it. I’ve usually got a Clif bar or something. Also nice to have emergency blankets for winter hand outs.
Edit: just remember they are people too. Regardless of their current situation. Some might have mental health issues, others maybe substance abuse problems, some might just be down on their luck and unable to find work. Treat them with the respect you would want if you were in their shoes.
This sounds closest. Acknowledge. Be friendly. Offer food water. Make eye contact, however fleeting. Assess crisis. Keep moving. This is Manhattan and depending on the neighborhood and street they might be the umpteenth to ask. They know this. I still acknowledge and make eye contact because suddenly being invisible is the worst part psychologically.
Bonus: if it’s your neighborhood, odds are you will see these people again. You might want to learn their names. They won’t keep asking you if they recognize you and know you don’t have it.
If I don’t want to give them money, I just say “sorry I don’t have any cash.” Easy Peasy.
I just say “sorry”. I mean, inventing reasons don’t do any of us any favors. They know I will not give anything after I say sorry. Does it matter to them, why?
I legitimately don’t carry cash anyway tbh. I absolutely hate cash.
Easy peasy until one pulls out a tap to pay terminal. I’ve seen it once, crazy world.
I didn’t have cash and a guy asked if I could cash app him instead lol
lol if that happened (hasn’t in my life yet so far) I’d just be like dude I don’t have any money, sorry.
Hustle gotta hustle
I don’t usually give out money and if I saw that after saying the standard “sorry I don’t have any cash” I would immediately nope the fuck out. I do get it and it makes sense for them to have but it gives me an icky feeling to actually hear about it.
Good point. While I never had that happen …. Last winter I used it as an excuse not to hire some teens who were shoveling driveways. But they had Venmo. Dammit
I wasn’t even that unwilling: it’s mostlyvthey were too late. I was already out there and had already shoveled enough snow to get my snowblower out
Have to pretend they’re not there. It’s awful. But I don’t think that if I give them a few quid they’ll turn their life around
I prefer to donate to food banks
I ask them to come inside the store and I’ll buy them some food.
If they decline, oh well. If they agree, I happily pay for some food for them.
Some of these encounters have broke my heart, others have just reiterated what most people assume when it comes to these things.
I just apologize and move on, never had a bad experience. I do feel bad afterwards, but I’m from LATAM and it’s basically a 50/50 wether you get ripped off or not, so I’m not risking it.
