i always wanted to go the extra mile, synergize, get the ball rolling, move the needle, think outside the box, and get out of my comfort zone. permanently
I’m glad I got the opportunity to leverage my skills and knowledge in order to drive customer engagement and deliver wins as a team.
Exactly! Nowadays hardly anyone thinks about the shareholders!! Think about the shareholders!!!
Oh I always think of the Shareholders!
Like how to jettison them into the sun or send them to the bottom of the sea toget the most value!
Don’t forget to over deliver and under promise. You’ll get paid the same, but it will make somebody else boatloads more money.
Moving the needle is so satisfying
I just need to touch base so we can circle back.
I knew what synergy was and I wanted it.
You forget to mention that you wanted to do all this going forward.
All through a single pane of glass.
I wished to sit in an open plan office where everyone could see me scratch my ass while all conversation and meetings were done via Slack and Zoom, even if we were next to each other.
I essentially quit the programming profession because of fucking open office plans. Just an absolute nightmare as far as actual productive coding environments are concerned.
They’re the wet dreams of marketing departments the world over, but genuinely shit for everyone who has to concentrate on their work lol
Modern “open plan” offices with hot desking bullshit are not designed for neurodivergent people which are generally drawn to programming.
Even when if not neurodivergent ( allegedly ) they are not designed for programmers
At least on slack there is a searchable archive created from the interaction.
Yeah do I really need a searchable archive of FlyingSquid scratching his ass?
Actually. Yeah, sign me up.
Sure, but we would literally be right next to each other and just talk via Slack. It was stupid.
I am the kind of neurodivergent where I really need that kind of built in organization, so from all of us megADHD folks out there we really appreciate your patience.
That does make sense, but I guarantee you that few of the people I worked with were neurodivergent based on break room chatter.
Ooo! Are we playing Corporate Lingo Bingo?
I just love waking up to a flurry of emails from my boss frantically asking me to do basic tasks. It’s how I know I’m a valued team member! And I do this for less and less every year due to the fact the raises are never high enough to counter inflation.
They keep telling me I’ll be rich soon, guys! Oh man, I wish I were kidding…
Getting paid 130k+ a year is a pretty good life for writing emails.
Its essentially a trade of your soul for writing emails.
Meh. I work 35 actual hours in front of a keyboard. I have my days but I’m happy and mostly fulfilled.
I do the same… and i guess i am burnt out by lack of interesting and consistent work to do.
aspects of my job I absolutely hate:
-
Maintaining a DLL( or shared object) in a large piece of software where my team’s scope is so narrow that we are just a conduit between two other processes. bugs get introduced by behavioral changes from upstream or downstream.
-
No real exiciting problem to solve.
I learnt Compiler design, Complexity theory, Concurrency, Algorithms, etc in college. But I look at bad code that does
if (boolvar) return 1; else return 0;- Constantly get shuffled around on tasks by my manager who goes into panic mode if his supervisor asks about something.
-
Everyone wants to touch my base and I haven’t even started building one yet
It was worse in the 80s. Everyone wanted to follow up Mañana. Who is this Mañana?
Is this Patrick Bateman? Cause I’m reading this in his voice.
No, it’s not Bateman, that’s Batman.
He’s not the Krusty Krab
What are you doing Step Robin?
It sure is. Seems like something he might say unironically.
Bateman and all the other VPs did a lot of things but it didn’t seem like they ever did anything that could be considered work.
Ever since I was a
sophomore in college(?)
I knew I wanted to
work cross functionally across teams
Otherwise I might be in yesterday’s Excel meme 😳 only a lil Excel/GSheets pls
My childhood dream job was not working in office.
Oh, so like, you wanted to work in a factory?
Rather that, than work in an office, but not exactly that either. I wanted to do something that involves working with my hands, so I became a plumber, but nowdays I’ve got my own company and do other renovation jobs as well.
I think I actually did.
I always got told I could do whatever I wanted and didn’t know what I wanted to do. But I figured I didn’t want to do anything manual into old age so ruled that out. I knew I wanted to do a lot of different things and work with different people. But talking can be difficult.
Emails and working together with lots of other people and working on problem is great. Wearing a suit and making big decision seemed really interesting.
Work in general sucks but it beats the alternatives. Everyone on this website comes across as somewhat autistic. Dealing with people isn’t the end of the world.
This guy wouldn’t use an S to pluralize “e-mail”. The UK school system didn’t leave children behind.
