Hard to imagine Trump has read very many books.

By all accounts, he’s never even read his autobiography.

For me, working from home meant eating endangered species for lunch seven days a week instead of just two. Checkmate, liberals.

And a child is assumed to be a future combatant.

I mean, a score is 20. I think that means they’ve killed two thousand scores of people. “Scores of women and children” doesn’t really do that justice.

Ain’t nobody fuck with tiny hippo. Ain’t nobody.

I spent my 30s feeling like a retiree, but then I bought a bicycle at age 39 and started riding 25-50 miles a day. Now I’m approaching my 60s and I’m in the best shape of my life. Barring catastrophic and permanent injuries, I think the main problem with aging is that being sedentary causes your body to decay and the older you are the more time you’ve had to be sedentary. Get up off your dead asses, people, and don’t tell me you don’t have the time for exercise. You have plenty of time to watch TV and scroll through your phones, turn some of that time into something useful.

You’d have to be living under a rock to not be aware of Musk’s political side at this point … and rocks are too expensive for anybody to afford any more.

This shit again. Those numbers are nothing to worry about at all, they’re just meant for the Russian sleepers sitting in their apartments next to NATO military facilities, telling them to continue not setting off their hydrogen bombs. I don’t know why people worry about this.

I kinda like it better since it makes the same criticism of people who think their works will last forever, but then goes a step further and exposes the same fallacy in modern peoples.

Fun fact: Shelley wrote that poem in a friendly competition with Horace Smith. Here is Smith’s version:

In Egypt’s sandy silence, all alone,
Stands a gigantic Leg, which far off throws
The only shadow that the Desert knows:—
“I am great OZYMANDIAS,” saith the stone,
“The King of Kings; this mighty City shows
The wonders of my hand.”— The City’s gone,—
Naught but the Leg remaining to disclose
The site of this forgotten Babylon.

We wonder — and some Hunter may express
Wonder like ours, when thro’ the wilderness
Where London stood, holding the Wolf in chace,
He meets some fragment huge, and stops to guess
What powerful but unrecorded race
Once dwelt in that annihilated place.

— Horace Smith, “Ozymandias”

or used

So the X-Wing Luke flies to meet Yoda for the first time (ostensibly in a different star system) was a starship?

Used to be, you got one comic with the sunday paper. There was no bingeing your favorite comics you just waited until they came out.

I mean, this is true if “used to be” means “prior to WWII” (or maybe even earlier). Publishers have been putting out collections of comic strips in book form for a very long time - I grew up in the '70s reading Pogo compendiums published in the 1960s.

I once used the word twat around my then-girlfriend and she “corrected” me, insisting it was pronounced “twah”. Turns out she thought people saying it were trying to use the French word toit and mispronouncing it. No idea why she thought anybody would want to call somebody else a French roof.

I prefer Melon Husk.

It’s the lack of consent that’s the turn-on for them. See: Deshaun Watson.

NIN is 29yo angst with heroin addict angst thrown in for good measure.

I always claimed in job interviews to be good at debugging, but there are no certifications for debugging and there’s really no way for an interviewer to verify such a claim. So even though it is an incredibly important skill, companies just do not look for it. There is also the hilariously misguided belief that good coders do not produce bugs so there’s no need for debugging.

They don’t think that. They don’t have morals.

So you’re saying hotdog pizzas aren’t really pizza?

Peche (peach-flavored lambic) and framboise (raspberry-flavored) are awesome, too. As expensive as wine but at least it has the same alcohol content as wine.