lol I like the lamp
Pull on the chain once for bright genie,
Pull twice for dim genie,
Pull a third time for OFF.Pulling the chain 3 times sends you to the Oceanview Motel and Casino.
Oh no you don’t…
Next thing you’re going to tell me I have to watch this refrigerator without blinking.
Pulling SIX times sends you to the Oceanview Motel 6 & Casino!
“What’s the twist?”
“Good luck explaining all this to the IRS without going to prison.”
“…I’m fucked.”
Free cash based purchases for the rest of your life. A dollar spent in cash is a dollar saved in your bank account.
But you’re actually fine. If you can get it into a bank account, just make sure to report the “gift” income to the IRS. The FBI might be interested but if you’re not involved in criminal activity they’ll soon leave.
Alphabetboy: And who gifted you this if I may ask ?
You: A middle eastern guy with purple skin and uhhh… he didn’t have legs
Oh and he lives in the jar on the left kitchen shelf
- I Dream of Genie theme song intensifies
- By Bitcoin from shady guy on Craigslist
- If you survive, become an NFT artist
- Anonymous purchase of NFT from yourself
- Now you can pay taxes!
What if you go to the IRS and thell them you found all this money in your basement. The cash is all real, it’s not stolen, no one knows where it’s from and no one is missing it. Couldn’t you pay taxes on it like when you win the lottery and it’s legally yours?
I could easily spend $1M without arousing suspicion.
Couldnt you just show them the lamp and give them a wish?
Management must have really hated the Robin Williams genie, since he always granted the wishes in the spirit of the person who did the wishing, even when it was the bad guy!
That’s what genies normally would do, too.
They’re not a monkey’s paw
I thought genies were bitter because they’re trapped in a lamp and forced to grant wishes?
Sometimes. But most modern genie lore is mixed in with the monkey paw lore. Does that make sense?
I think we are all just too cynical in our modern times to believe in granted wishes without any downsides.
What is some modern genie lore like that?
Depends on the writer. Some genies are jackass genies, which is what management is expecting here, while others may be literal genies, who aren’t necessarily malicious but grant the wish based purely on the words used to make it rather than the intended spirit of it.
$1,000,000…in nickles!
Reminds me of 1970s ace pitcher for the Oakland A’s, Vida Blue. One time in… I think it was '72… he got fined $250 for some harsh behavior or comment, maybe it was to the umpire or an opposing player. Already a superstar, Vida Blue was an aggressive competitor, known for speaking his mind, took no shit from anybody.
Anyway, he paid it all in quarters, dimes and nickels. Asked about this at the time, he replied - “I wanted to pay it all in pennies, but they’re hard to come by”.
I wish I could have seen his face when he committed to the prankster bit. “Oh, you wanna fine me, motherfuckers? I’m gonna make even that a hassle for ya.”
The man was a legend. A monster on the mound, too, in '71 he won both the AL Cy Young and MVP.If he had paid all in pennies it’d actually be easier to count because you can just weigh it and assume a value.
With a random mix of coins that now becomes near impossible without sorting through every single coin…
They could have just used an automatic coin sorter, though.
Yeah, those have been around since at least the 1940s, if not before.
Was he the guy who was always getting caught putting vaseline on the ball?
Oh, no, that was Gaylord Perry:
- juvenile laughter intensifies *
The thing about Perry is that everyone always suspected the ball had funny stuff even when there was nothing on it that day, and Perry stoked that feeling, was a GOAT at playing mind games with opposing batters, keeping them off-balance, never knowing if it was coming or not.
This is some Paper Mario cursed chest vibes. I love it.
oh my guy, you realize what you just did?
That channel is amazing, thanks for sharing it
I appreciate the Twilight Zone reference
Ok, but was he too evil or too nice?
Yes
The catch is that this was freshly minted, unbalanced credit. Meaning, you now have that much money worth of inflation. Have fun with the money you got by reducing the value of everyone’s wallet. 😈
I’m fine with that. Thanks!
This raises so many questions for me. All of them hilarious. Like if there’s a management organisation for genies are they also genies that get assigned to normal folks? How do you get recruited? If you’re in the wrong line of work do you quit or get re-assigned to something else. This is great XD.
I wish for you to fulfill the terms laid out in this contract.
Vending machines, in this day and age. Pfft.
