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Cake day: July 2nd, 2023

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  • It’s a throw up between dislocating my arm while kiting and wearing both wrist straps for the brake lines. So my arm dislocated in mid air, fell to the ground, kite inflates but doesn’t take off and dragged me along the ground by my dislocated shoulder until I hit a rock.
    Falling while climbing solo breaking my ankle and having to crawl out to find help.
    And finally crashing while skiing and landing my hip on a rock, the ski patrol didn’t know if I had a spinal injury and couldn’t give me painkillers to get me off the hill, so they took me down a slushy bumpy spring slope on a sledge. Turns out I’d just fractured my hip so after the xray my friends dad the doctor got me loaded up with painkillers to make up for it.
    Edit: that’s just some of the worst I can think of, I am very grateful that the human mind cannot remember pain.



  • Been in several car accidents. Rolled a car down a hill. Was hit by a car and went over the bonnet, roof and landed on my feet behind the car bruised but OK.
    Got run over by another car dislocated my knee and my heel burst open, the lady in the car gave me about 20 chocolate penguin biscuits for the shock, then I got on a bus and went to my mates house for a joint.
    Done illigal bridge swings off of railway bridges and damns and abseiled away from the cops.
    Climbed onto the roof of a moving steam train dressed as Indiana Jones walked along the carridge then climbed back in through a window, scaring the crap out of the people in there.
    Then met the girl of my dreams, had kids settled down (a little) and lived happily ever after.















  • The lead engineer at a site I work on from time to time is on a 3 on 3 off rotation (weeks) on an offshore oil rig.
    It turns out he was having to miss some of his trips because he had to ‘look after his ailing father’.
    It turns out he was spending this time working another lead engineer job, for the same oil company but in a different country.
    He got away with it for months until some issue came up and he had to call into the office and they noticed his number was from another country, Saudi Arabia.
    Haven’t been back to that site in a while so I don’t know what happened to him but he’s certainly not working there any more.