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found this while browsing yesterday… not exactly what you are looking for, but maybe get you on the right track.
found this while browsing yesterday… not exactly what you are looking for, but maybe get you on the right track.
i (longtime ex-mo) am fifth generation from Parley P Pratt who personally helped brother Joseph develop his insipid theology.
our ancestors stood together at ensign peak. such a proud history
hello. that was really lovely to read.
i share a lot of similarities with your story. although honestly you seem to be faring much better than i have into my middle age.
there definitely was a successful future for me to be had. but i fell off that path hard a decade ago and now i have very little hope nor desire to find success in any standard measure.
it has been an interesting experience to discover exactly how and why i made the choices that have landed me in my current situation. i am well beyond regret or blame (per se), and am simply grateful for some tiny piece of reality to call my own.
honesty is important.
good luck.
i second this request. please
when i encounter a dog turd on the sidewalk, i usually imagine force-feeding it to the nasty owner who left it there. it makes me super angry.
i spend a lot of time alone and so my mind wandering out unattended can be a real problem. years ago (45 now), i finally traced back to the single moments in my life that caused my demise and since then my brain LOVES to torture me repeatedly with the pain and betrayal and shame and anger of those moments.
1.5 years ago i found something that helps. i made “elevator music” for my mind.
i have always had a bit of a problem getting songs stuck in my head. so i found one that i like but not love (not a favorite song) that i have known for forever, and put the chorus and bridge on permanent replay.
the tune and lyrics are available as a reflex, last for about a minute before the loopback, it is calming and centering and allows me to manually wrest control away from thought processes that are harming me but seem to be happening automatically.
it may be that this is too specific of a solution, but it aids my sanity. good luck to you.
(the song is: “Spinning the Wheel” by George Michael)
the turn tables
it is really bugging me that you are getting heavily downvoted for this. it’s not like you are actively proselytizing here. i am sorry people are so shitty.
i think belief in (some type of) god is probably pretty healthy. unfortunately, my life experience has led me to a failure to believe in anything at all.
anyways… you do you. be well.
Watching their partner have sex with someone else sometimes sparked what they called “classic little jealousy issues,” which Adams said they resolved with “more communication, more growing up.” The money was just too good. And over time, they adopted a self-affirming ideology that framed everything as just business.
i swear this is the exact plot of “Boogie Nights”. i wish these young entrepreneurs all the best, but the movie didn’t exactly have a happy ending.
so it’s NOT a pyramid scheme?
or it IS a pyramid scheme, and that’s why we should get on board?
“… you do know that…, right?”
well akshually 🤓
i would jump at the chance to have electro-shock. the only way into a better life (for me, BPD) would be to change personality altogether. i wouldn’t hesitate at all.
no, but really… i very nearly busted into tears on monday at the walmart pharmacy when they told me i would have to come back tomorrow. tragic.
that’s honest.
i miss reddit, too. been 3.5 months since leaving and i used to spend 12 hours or more at a time scrolling and reading. it was like a good friend or partner.
but i really NEVER posted there. and i do here, sometimes.
i got to spend 30 minutes in the doctors waiting room last week and they had a pop playlist running. i rarely listen to (any) music these days and spend my time in public with earplugs jammed in my ears.
the music coming from those speakers was ungodly distracting, aggressive, poorly constructed and LOUD. i brought it up to my family and they told me i sound like an old man (45).
i don’t think it’s just my age.
it’s not as though it is a thing to be admired, like a work of art… it’s a fucking gun. that is what you do with guns.
my favorite game since childhood. forever and ever, amen.
this is where the video was taken of two women, above whom had formed a small electric storm disturbance causing their hair to stand on end.
that was the most readable version of modern politics i have ever come across.
i learned a lot. thank you so much!
that’s what i was thinkin… surely single-cell eukaryote (fungi) is earlier than complex eukaryote (shark)?