• spiderplant@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    36
    arrow-down
    3
    ·
    1 year ago

    What happens outside of school when boys are faced with a much more relaxed dress code, you still going to victim blame and blame the outfit?

    • optissima@possumpat.io
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      26
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      Eg, Imagine this anywhere else “I was driving, I saw someone wearing something showy, and I killed a pedestrian. I can’t believe that lady was dressed hot, they made me kill a pedestrian.” Does that seem right? No. Still the fault of the person looking.

          • rev_breather@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            4
            arrow-down
            14
            ·
            1 year ago

            Because outside world you are free to be who you want to be. But in the school you are meant to study and there is a decorum. Very similar to a library, you cannot speak in a library because it is distracting.

            I have to be clear here, the problem lies in the subjectivity that “what is appropriate”. To solve this we have uniforms. And If there is a better solution I’m in for that.

            But as I stated before, one should not be one sided in their thought about this problem. Not everything can be dumped on the “boys should learn” phrase.

            While boys should definitely learn, the outfit also should fit the decorum.

            • spiderplant@lemm.ee
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              9
              arrow-down
              1
              ·
              edit-2
              1 year ago

              Dude I went to a catholic school with uniforms, it doesn’t stop you getting distracted.

              I think all it did was give me a low level thing for tights 😅

              Also in the “outside world” you aren’t truely free, there is public indecency laws at the very least.

              • rev_breather@lemmy.world
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                2
                arrow-down
                7
                ·
                1 year ago

                Uniform is the solution we have at the moment. But as you said that’s not the best one. If there is a better solution we should go for it.

                Regarding outside world, agree there as well. But compared to school obviously there is more freedom.

                Overall, my whole point was the two sidedness of the issue.

                • spiderplant@lemm.ee
                  link
                  fedilink
                  English
                  arrow-up
                  7
                  ·
                  1 year ago

                  You misunderstand me. I don’t think its not the best solution.

                  I think uniform is a solution you think we have to a problem you think exists.

                  For as long as we’ve had young people in general education we have anecdotes of them being distracted because the way we do education is boring, it’s never going to be solved unless there is reform.

                  Being distracted by their peers clothes is not a real problem it’s just a type of distraction and I’ve told you that uniform doesn’t stop this distraction. The actual solution is to massively increase the education budgets and nearly do a historical tutorage system for each child where they advance at their own speed with expert teachers in very small class sizes of 1-3. But this will probably never happen.

    • intensely_human@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      11 months ago

      I imagine the boys could just leave if they don’t feel comfortable, and aren’t — as they are in school — forced to be present.

    • rev_breather@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      arrow-down
      20
      ·
      edit-2
      1 year ago

      Not sure if you really read my comment. I was talking ONLY in the context of school, which the post is about.

      What happens outside school is a different conversation. Much more general in fact. We’d probably on the same page in that conv I believe.

      • spiderplant@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        10
        ·
        edit-2
        1 year ago

        I did but my problem is I, as many other think school should be prepare kids and young adults for life.

        And if school is meant to prepare you for adult life, it should somewhat emulate adult life in a safe setting. In which case talking about life outside is relevant.

        Alternatively you’re advocating for school to be more like prison lite where we can take control away from kids and young adults. Where they can’t decide for themselves what to wear and they need to be protected from their uges because we think they should be considered guilty before they do anything because we think they can’t resist and we refuse to teach them.

        If governments around the world can consider 16 old enough to enlist and learn how to use and be responsible for a firearm then schools should consider that age old enough and responsible enough to act appropriately around women no matter how they are dressed.

        • intensely_human@lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          11 months ago

          School is a prison and pretending that it’s a bridge to the real world is not only naive it is counterproductive.

          The reason there are uniforms in prison is because there are some dangerous mofos with poor control in there. Kinda like in school. The uniforms decrease the energy level of the place.

          Not sure why we’d put the responsibility of learning self control on children while adults are treated as the creatures of limited self control they are.

          A homeless man’s a product of his environment but a fourteen year old boy who can’t concentrate on calculus because titties are bouncing in his face all day is responsible for suppressing his own sexuality in service to the mission. Is that about right?

          Adults are children and children are adults? Is that pretty much the rubric here?

          • spiderplant@lemm.ee
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            1
            ·
            11 months ago

            Should be called intensely_inhumane 🤣

            School shouldn’t be like prison and neither should prison tbh.

            Prison is designed as a punishment, its pretty problematic to want children to go through a similar system in their formative years, nevermimd that there is so much evidence that prison doesn’t even work and just causes worse outcomes.

            Treat someone like a criminal they will act like a criminal.

        • rev_breather@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          2
          arrow-down
          8
          ·
          1 year ago

          Lol, you immediately took the thought to the extremes. How can what I said be remotely prison like 😂

          School is obviously meant to prepare one for adult life. As an adult you can’t be publicly indecent, so can you not be at school.

          Also, I agree everyone should act appropriately around everyone no matter how they are dressed.

          I didn’t understand what you meant by the firearm licence, but just so you know it is at least 18-21 minimum age with necessary courses and qualifications, around the world.

          • spiderplant@lemm.ee
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            6
            ·
            1 year ago

            It’s not really the extremes, it’s exactly what you were calling for. You called for uniforms which is taking agency away from young people and you said that it is the duty of schools to protect (I assume only the male) students from distractions which involves punishing the girls and assuming the boys are guaranteed to be guilty of this crime of distraction.

            Not gun lisences, im talking about joiming the military. A lot of countries have 16 or younger as enlisting age as well as children younger than that in cadets organisations.

            • intensely_human@lemm.ee
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              1
              ·
              11 months ago

              School is a massive fuck you to personal agency. Trying to argue for dress codes as an aspect of agency is putting lipstick on a pig.

              If you’re going to force kids to be at a place all day, you should give them some accommodations. For the boys, that’s helping them out with the distractions.

              You are definitely failing to see the two sided argument this other poster is making. It’s a really important point, and you don’t even seem to realize it’s been made.

              • spiderplant@lemm.ee
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                1
                ·
                edit-2
                11 months ago

                There’s no two sides here, the aguments about distractions and agency fall apart when you compare countries like Sweden and Denmark where they don’t have uniforms and allow the students lot more agency, against countries like the US, UK and Ireland where they infantalise their students and in the UK’s and Ireland’s case uniforms are mandatory.

                The Nordic countries have way better school performance scores.