• intensely_human@lemm.eeEnglish
        5·
        1 year ago

        Put in the apartment application tonight. My credit’s better than it’s ever been, I have more cash on hand than I’ve ever had before, I even have money to pay movers this time. I don’t want to jinx it so I’m gonna expect obstacles still, but it’s looking good.

      • intensely_human@lemm.eeEnglish
        2·
        1 year ago

        AND I got approved. Holy shit I’m so excited.

        You have no idea how dead one’s dating life becomes when they are 40 and have no place of their own. But mostly I’m looking forward to whatever untold levels of mental health await me when I get alone time every day, and don’t have to worry about the rent.

        I’ve had apartments before … and I was always late on the rent.

        I had a really high-paying job once … but I was moving from couch to couch because it was so high stress I couldn’t navigate finding a place, and I lived paycheck to paycheck, and that went on a year and a half and then they fired me. I might have been able to make it if I’d had an apartment, could truly rest each night.

        Now, it’s all coming together:

        The apartment
        The job
        AT THE SAME TIME

        Holy shit I have never been stable in my entire life.

        For my mother money was chaos. She worked for herself. It was boom and bust. We’d splurge. We’d scrape. We’d go without when money didn’t come in. She saved nothing. Ever. My grandfather died and the family decided to sell his land to a suburb developer. She got $35k. The money was gone in a flash, as was my grandfather’s beautiful land.

        My model of success in life was “be brilliant, get discovered, rocket to the stars”. I saw the world as chutes and ladders: lucky breaks catapulting me into new social strata. I went to a fancy college, took out loans.

        After I got out I quit my first full time job. Too boring. Moved into a techie frat house. Started writing code. Worked freelance because I wanted to be free.

        My friends and peers got jobs. Took vacations. Had their evenings free. I was a businessman! with no boss! I was free!. But I was always broke. Occasionally I’d get a big contract.

        But I didn’t follow through. I cut corners. I smoked weed like a chimney, and procrastinated my work. I worked super short days. I’d go to a coffee shop, open the computer, code for an hour, decide “eh I’ll get cracking tomorrow” and then I’d leave.

        I constantly drank coffee, thinking it would motivate me. I had no idea that anxiety was a bigger problem than any “lack of motivation” I had. So I’d sit there and drink coffee and eat simple carbs and get into a miserable state.

        But I was that glitzy, glamorous figure: the dude with the computer making bank in hourly. I kept cranking my rates up.

        My zen teacher said to me, repeatedly, “I think a good move for you would be to just get a full time job”. I ignored his advice.

        Then in 2017 I got my hands on some acid, and microdosed for a while. I suddenly realized: all my financial problems come from the irregularity of my income. The acid blew my mind with a new realization: I’m getting old and this working-for-myself shit isn’t working. (Thanks LSD!)

        Anyway, it’s been a long hard road and I now make almost nothing compared to when I made senior software dev money, yet my finances are healthier.

        I could go on and on. Thank you for your encouragement!

  • Zefrem23@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
    241·
    1 year ago

    It’s not a white whale, it’s a Holy Grail. The white whale is something that occupies your every waking moment and you wish to eliminate so you can get on with your life.

  • zos_kia@lemmy.fmhy.mlEnglish
    17·
    1 year ago

    Kind of shameful but there is this one porn movie I used to have on a CDR that got lost between apartments. It’s stupid cause it’s #17 of a 20+ series and you can find #16 and #18 in like 2 minutes, but this one has disappeared from the face of the internet. The studio stopped listing it some time ago then they were bought out and the new owners never listed that one. Believe it or not I literally sent an email to the male star of the movie, but he never responded. There goes my holy grail. It must have gone out of stock and maybe the masters got lost or something. I know one rip was made at some point cause I found a filename in a listing, but it is long lost. Farewell lost porn 🙋‍♂️ farewell…

    • QuikxSpec@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
      3·
      1 year ago

      No shame dude! Maybe write the production company if they’re still around. Feel free to share the name or an embedded link to an info page. Never know if someone can help.

      • zos_kia@lemmy.fmhy.mlEnglish
        3·
        1 year ago

        Actually i found a phone number to the new studio so i might just give them a ring and ask about !

        It’s a French series called “Sacrées Coquines”, volume 17 :D i doubt anybody’s heard of it

  • cuchilloc@vlemmy.netEnglish
    12·
    1 year ago

    One game I do not even know the title of. My brother used to play it when I was 6 years old. I remember the game being monochrome, not sure about the crt itself. But it was a kind of XCOM if I’d have to describe it, about some crew that lands on an underwater planet. It’s still my white whale coz I still have not found even the name . I tried chatgpting suggestions recently to no avail.

  • lichtmetzger@feddit.deEnglish
    11·
    1 year ago

    A good quality version of the “VR.5” tv series from 1995. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/VR.5

    It’s a TV show about virtual reality and has peak 90’s aesthetic. They shot the scenes in "virtual reality"on black and white film and colorized them manually afterwards to create a very distinct and vibrant look. That must’ve been so much hard work.

    Sadly, there is only a 240p VHS rip with extremely terrible quality out there. I’ve always wanted to watch the whole thing, but it’s too degraded to enjoy like this.

    • QuikxSpec@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
      5·
      1 year ago

      Your potato version is on Archive. There is one result in the Bay here but size indicates it’s likely the same and it says VHSRip. I watched a couple minutes… holy TV stars of today lol

  • alynnetjes@lemmy.worldEnglish
    11·
    1 year ago

    I actually went and bought my white whale and ripped it myself eventually. It’s a silly movie called DEBS but every version I could find had an error in the final scene. So I ripped it from DVD, if only now I could figure out how to self host it.

    On a related note, the first white whale I ever had is how I got into piracy, it was a kids show called ik mik loreland that we got to see in school as to learn spelling. They never showed us the entire series, and I had been obsessed with it for years untill on the news they talked about birate-pay. Eventually found a tracker on tickass-korrents. It took me 6 months to complete from what I assume was one seeder who didn’t use a PC ever. Recently register it myself and am proud to say it now has 4 dedicated seeders.

  • Eidolon@lemmy.worldEnglish
    11·
    1 year ago

    I recently had the pleasure to slay it actually. It was the kinda like Twilight Zone but Horror ‘Night Gallery’ from 1996. It did exist, but the torrent that was circulating was messed up beyond belief. Episodes cut off at 20 minutes etc. Some dude on a private tracker ripped the whole thing anew for me.

  • Musclewizard@lemmy.worldEnglish
    111·
    1 year ago

    A cracked version of Hatch. It’s embroidery software that my GF has wanted to use for her hobby / tiny side hustle but a license costs literally hundreds of dollars.

  • DidacticDumbass@lemmy.oneEnglish
    9·
    1 year ago

    Seven Days. It has one of the coolest premises, and the lead is like a combination of James Bond and McGuyver.

    I never found it on any tracker, but I literally looked it up before writing this and learned it has a DVD release in 2018, so that is exciting.

    • QuikxSpec@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
      7·
      1 year ago

      The TV series from around 2000? Kind of a generic name (tons results with variations on the name), so trying to clarify what you’re looking for! Interesting premise, similar to Quantum Leap or Sliders if it is.

    • lichtmetzger@feddit.deEnglish
      4·
      1 year ago

      The one time he landed his time machine in the middle of some spectators: “Don’t worry, we’re doing a low-budget science fiction series”

      I still remember that to this day. It’s a great series, they let it end when it was still awesome and didn’t drag it out any longer.

  • Neilia_1@lemmy.worldEnglish
    8·
    1 year ago

    Shakira’s first 2 albums in lossless quality without any vinyl noise. I met a guy who shared a sample and I was amazed. Huge shame he’s offline…

  • Pyrrhichios@vlemmy.netEnglish
    8·
    1 year ago

    Cottage Country (2013). Meant to be similar to Tucker and Dale Vs Evil and I just can’t find a torrent anywhere!

      • Pyrrhichios@vlemmy.netEnglish
        1·
        1 year ago

        Cheers! I should have qualified an active torrent, but that’s more than I’ve ever seen - I’ll give them a go…

        EDIT: can’t seem to get to any actual magnet links - everything I click just seems to throw up an ad…

    • ComptonCowboy@lemmy.worldEnglish
      2·
      1 year ago

      I see it on a private tracker (720p and 1080p variants) as well as Usenet. If English is fine I can grab it and put it up on Mega for you. I also see German.

  • RighteousFog@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
    8·
    1 year ago

    • A rip of this specific limited edition CD, that contains a few bonus tracks that can’t be found anywhere else in CD quality.

    • A PDF of the short-lived Japanese edition of GURPS 4th Edition (specifically Characters and Magic). The books are very hard to find, and usually cost $300-500 when sold online. It seems like no scans were ever made.

  • InformalTrifle@lemmy.worldEnglish
    8·
    1 year ago

    The original tv broadcast version of only fools and horses s06e01 (yuppy love). The dvd version available everywhere has a scene cut out where Rodney asks Casandra to dance and it’s so weird without it. I think it was due to copyright on the music playing in the scene