I remember a guy talking about moving in with his girlfriend. As single people she vaccumed once a week and he did once a month. She felt they should alternate every other week and he was like wait. Your vacumming half as much as you used to and now im vaccuming twice as much. He proposed he do once a month so he is working the same as before and she gets a week off. Was a guy from work so no idea how that eventually turned out.

I’m recovering from cancer and caring for my wife who has severe post traumatic stress as a result of natural disaster.

• I have a shower most days
• I get dressed most days
• I turn the dishwasher on when it’s full, and empty it when there’s no more room in the sink
• Occasionally I sweep and vacuum
• I mow the lawns every few weeks

That’s pretty much all I can do at the moment, but I’m slowly getting better.

Done as needed, or as mood strikes. Generally everything stays clean, if not, the pressure and annoyance builts until it gets completed. Repeat.

Routines like that do not exist in my household

So, I’m SINK, so my routine is probably “light.”

Dishes are done usually daily, but I live alone, so it’s like… My breakfast mug and then whatever dinner is. I usually do it in the morning while I’m waiting for the water to boil.

I vacuum once every 1-2 weeks depending on the state of the carpet. (I got outside often and sometimes track things in. Also have a long haired cat). I also don’t like bugs, and my carpet is light. The little dots make me anxious.

I wash the bathroom about once a month, but will spot treatments here and there. (like wiping something down whole brushing my teeth, stuff like that).

And swifter the kitchen floor whenever it seems gross. I do laundry when I run out of underwear.

Littler box is usually every day, though I can sometimes skip a day. Usually when I do that, I’m in “animal mode,” so that’ll prompt me to refill bird feeders as well.

I am awful when it comes to my bedding. I hate doing it for whatever reason.

When it gets bad enough that I have to ; )

Though we have been on a kick lately of washing dishes immediately after supper and not letting them pile up.

I vacuum the house every day with roombas. It’s actually nice always walking on clean surfaces. The roombas have had some disasters but still worth.

I actually started with this chore list, and we eventually ended up tweaking it to better suit our particular living conditions:

Dishwasher run every night

Counters sort of wiped down every night

Laundry as needed, sheets and towels once a week, kitchen towels whenever the basket gets full.

Roomba runs at least once a day

Biweekly cleaning lady we pay for to do the rest. Yell at kids to clear off surfaces so she can work, weekly, I asked for that so we do every Friday whether she is coming or not.

This is the compromise because I am a good cook but not a good housekeeper, husband is sort of a clean freak but out of his depth with the kids and me.

Yard, we have mowing and edging service, monthly cost. In summer once a week mowing (yes it grows that fast) in winter once a month is ok. I do the rest of the yard maintenance - pull weeds around the trees (yard is made of these weeds, whatever grows gets mowed), maintain food garden, mulch, flowers out front, that is daily at least some and about twice a year big overhaul with mulch, if there is heavy work I get help from all the kids.

Re-caulk around sinks and tubs every 2 years.

So: daily stuff is yard, dishes, counters, and floors.

Declutter weekly (and weakly) mow yard (outsourced)

Heavier cleaning is biweekly and outsourced.

In general - if it was just me & the husband I think the workload would be pretty evenly distributed. I cook and try not to explode a big mess in the kitchen, and check on the garden. By cook I mean homemade, some homegrown, naturally fermented stuff, fancy-ass food not frozen pizza. Maybe 1.5 hours a day. He maintains the Roomba, feeds the animals, does more of the dog walking, takes out the garbage daily and cleans the kitchen nightly, also about 1.5 hours in all.

The not daily stuff also pretty evenly distributed and when it’s not we ask each other for help and provide it so it does balance out.

how you share the load with other people you live with.

I do everything because the other two people I live with do nothing and are absolute pigs. No… I take that back. Pigs are cleaner.

I have trouble consciously making and adhering to routines, so I’ve got an automated checklist that I attend to when I’m dissassociated enough to simply go through the motions. Some days, I even finish the list.

I have a cleaning lady who comes every-other week, which takes care of most upkeep. I also have a roomba that runs daily. Otherwise:

Walk the dog twice a day.
Do dishes / clean the kitchen every night.
Laundry, once a week while working from home.
Empty the litter box robot once a week.
Take out trash as needed.
I also meal prep every Sunday.

I used to be a very messy person, but this system has worked well for me.

Emptying the dishwasher every. single. day.

I have daily, weekly, biweekly, monthly, and quarterly tasks, including both home and car maintenance. I put them on my calendar so I don’t lose track. Especially when I’m traveling a lot for work, “when was the last time I washed my bedsheets?!?”

Cleaning the kitchen is the thing I keep on top of best because I want my food to be clean and safe and for cooking to be enjoyable.

Compared to some I have dated, I have some personal standards that are higher. I think I’m pretty good at recognizing that though and dialing back to a compromise when appropriate. But I also draw lines where I have to. Someone bringing their cat into the equation; they must be 100% responsible for their cat and they must take good care of it. Someone who lets litter age, or lets cat vomit sit for any period of time after discovery, or doesn’t vacuum hair and litter dust up at a high frequency I find acceptable is a no. Just no. We’re not compatible and that sort of mismatch does not get better with time. Even if we haven’t moved in together and I’m just visiting their place, that’s something that will strongly sway me towards breaking up.

I have broken up with one person due to mismatch in our cleaning expectations. It happened well before there were conversations about moving in together. Conversations leading up to it were cordial, open, and without blame. As far as breakups go, not a bad one from my perspective.

I vacuum, polish, sweep and tidy up twice a week

I started with the cadence that I found from somewhere on the internet. Then I adjusted the timing to what felt good to me.

I found that https://github.com/grocy/grocy worked well for me to setup these kinds of things as chores. I guess that a callender would work too. I just like to have everything on one page.