It’s been ages since I last saw ep 1 and, while looking for the despecialized original trilogy, I came across the prequel fan edits. “Eh, why not?”
Gotta say, I was expecting the pacing or the story to kinda fall flat, but this was a very enjoyable watch. There’s a lot that was cut, nearly all the “whimsy” was removed, also the whole underwater trip when the jedis first land on Naboo. This leads to the Gungan alliance being a “jar jar ex machina”, but it worked well enough in my opinion. Other than that, I think the movie works really well in every aspect.
The torrent I got also comes with a .docx that lists the whole movie script with all the stuff that was cut in red, and new additions (very few) in blue. A smaller list of changes can be read here - Besides removing a lot of jar jar’s antics and any references to midichlorians (I personally never cared about that), one notable change near the end was making Anakin blow up the command ship before Padme and her group capture the Viceroy, so it makes it seem that the droids being deactivated is what allowed them to complete their objective.
One thing that I noticed during the final battle was that the Trade Federation pretty much dropped the blockade, as they only left one command ship in orbit, compared to the dozens at the beginning of the movie. I guess that was because the land invasion worked, so there was no further need to keep the orbital blockade.
PS: I couldn’t stop laughing when Obi Wan fell because of that fucking meme
PPS: I always liked how Naboo looks, but this time I really paused to look a bit better at the architecture, and it has such a nice mix of mediterranean marble of yellowish tones and cyan roofs. With the current image quality and all, it was much easier to pick out “ancient CG” and in many places it looked like a “old last gen game”, but it had that late 90s charm that warms my hearth with nostalgia.
PPPS: The worst part about watching SW as an older person is seeing all those damn walkways without a single guardrail anywhere. Coruscant is even worse, that transport vehicle full of VIP heading to the senate is fully open without so much as seatbelts.
PART 2 of 5
-----Gungans fear Jar-Jar
Quick recap, the Gungans shrug when they see Binks, individually scold him, individually zap him, stand next to him, walk past him without looking at him in close quarters, and decide to punish him. Not fearful acts.
He is not feared by the Gungans. He is treated as an uninvited exile.
-----Jar-Jar mind-tricks Qui-Gon
Argument: “Jar-Jar says, “Any help here would be hot,” while waving his hand. Qui-Qon immediately stops, turns, blinks a couple times, and then reconsiders taking Jar-Jar.””
Counter: The direct quote of this reasoning is important, because it is inaccurate and not similar to other Jedi mind-tricks
When Jar-Jar says “Any help here would be hot”, Jinn pauses, turns, crosses the hall to Jar-Jar, listens to Kenobi and then replies to Kenobi, not to Jar Jar, saying “We’ll need a navigator to get us through the planet’s core, this Gungan may be of help.” A long delay in response, different words, different recipient, different length of phrase, unlike a mind-trick repetition. There is no indication that Jinn is in a dazed state or responding to Jar Jar directly.
“while waving his hand” – Mind-tricks in Star Wars are performed with a wave of some few fingers from a single hand from left to right. In contrast, Jar Jar raises both hands directly up vertically, briefly unfurls all of his fingers on both hands in a gesture of supplication, and then puts them both back down vertically. There is no similarity of Binks’ gesture to any mind-trick gesture in Star Wars.
“Qui-Gon immediately stops, turns, blinks a couple times,” Jinn does not immediately stop because Binks’ plays a mind-trick on him, he is already stopped, turned away from Binks and standing in front of Boss Nass. Then Qui-Gon turns, begins talking, blinks once while talking, and takes steps toward Binks while responding to Kenobi, not Binks.
“and then reconsiders taking Jar-Jar.” Jinn hasn’t decided to take Jar-Jar or not yet, so this is a first consideration. Jar-Jar suggests they could use help and should take him with them out of a bad situation. Jinn considers his plea and agrees as he has with Anakin and Padme.
Offering aid is a known, demonstrated personality trait of Jinn; Jinn ultimately decides to help characters in need when they directly appeal to him.
–— Binks gives Jinn directions
Argument: There’s no stated argument either, just a gif of Jinn, Kenobi and Binks sitting together.
I assume that when Binks wakes up and says Hulullulull” and shakes his head(as gungans are wont to do), one can equivocate his mumbling with the phrase Jinn says next: “Head for that outcropping”.
Each utterance is about 1.5 seconds long and begins with “h”. That’s about where the similarities end.
Counter: If this is supposed to be a mind-trick, Jinn does several complex movements during being mind-tricked that he does not copy from Binks, speaks to Kenobi directly rather than blindly repeating an unspoken phrase back to the caster, and with the audio isolated and slowed down, Binks is very clearing saying “hululululul” and not a sped up or distorted version of “head for that outcropping”. In every other mind-trick, a phrase is clearly spoken and the target repeats it or follows orders. No mind-trick here.
Another important point is that Jinn is a very strong Jedi and it’s silly to assume he could be completely directly controlled without Kenobi or himself noticing.
----- The Fish are metaphors
Argument: Maul is the big fish, Sidious is the bigger fish, and Binks is the biggest fish, being a Sith master more powerful than Sidious. No evidence is offered.
Counter: Since we can look at any three rocks in this movie and make the same very loose comparison that because there are three fish, maybe there are three Sith. There are three rocks by the roadside. Maybe those three rocks are actually Darth Pebble, Darth Stone and Darth Boulder.
You might be thinking, but the Sith: There are always two, a Master and his apprentice.
The argument used against the Rule of Two is that by Jinn saying “There’s always a bigger fish”, he’s alluding that there’s one more Sith in addition to there always being two Sith.
There’s no evidence that Jinn is talking about Sith, that there is a Rule of Three rather than the explicitly mentioned and agreed upon Rule of Two, while there is ample evidence that Jinn, mentioning that there’s always a bigger fish, is referencing the large fish behind them.
— Jar Jar is mind-tricking the biggest fish.
Argument: Jar Jar is mind-controlling the biggest fish to eat the bigger fish that almost ate the three of them in the Gungan transport.
Counter: The problem here is that small animals, let alone large animals, cannot be mind-tricked, or at least have not been in any media we’ve seen. Luke can’t even mind-trick a Wompa, so there’s no basis for the theory that a Sith Master could delicately control a knock-off Godzilla.
In the new canon that Disney is creating, Jedi can influence animals with the force, but this trilogy was created by Lucas before any examples of force-controlling animals occurred, and certainly not on Godzilla-scales, even though that ability would have come in handy a dozen times and the Jedi had the opportunity to use it. Send the bats away, stop the rancor, stop these fish from chasing them, stop the gladiator animals; animals attack people a lot in Star Wars. But as far as these movies are concerned, animals cannot be controlled by the force exerted by Jedi/Sith.
There’s zero evidence Binks is controlling the biggest fish.
----- Jar Jar broke the hyperdrive – the argument being that because Jar jar is a “great mechanic” and was standing in front of a patch of circuitry, he disconnected the hyperdrive through panel circuitry and that’s why R2 bumped into him.
Way too many assumptions and inaccuracies for this:
The hyperdrive is first said to be leaking by a pilot, but Kenobi discovers that “the hyperdrive generator is gone”, not broken or lacking power.
The area in which Jar Jar is alleged to have been disabling or sabotaging the circuitry that leads to the hyperdrive is in a distant, separate compartment, the droid bay, and disabling the circuitry wouldn’t make a difference if the hyperdrive generator is already missing. Binks also doesn’t touch any circuitry in that distant droid bay; he is standing away from the wall.
argument: Binks is a “great mechanic” because he quickly fixes Anakin’s pod after checking to make sure nobody is looking, and then immediately afterward Anakin’s pod racer begins working.
Counter: This does not happen.
What actually happens is that Binks is working on the engine with a screwdriver while R2 is watching him, in broad daylight surrounded by other people, and anyone could see Binks. In fact, Anakin definitely sees him working because a moment later Anakin looks at Binks tells Binks to be careful near the energy beam.
There was no sneaky “fixing”.
What happens in the film: After Binks stops working on Anakin’s pod, we can see both Anakin and R2 working on the pod. We know both R2 and Anakin are verified mechanical and software geniuses, which is demonstrated over and over again on screen canonically, while Binks is mostly hopeless with machinery and delicate maneuvers in general.
After Jar Jar, both Anakin and R2 are shown doing something or having done something to the pod, and then the podracer starts up properly.
Incidentally, the only action Jar Jar can be seen doing is rudimentary use of a screwdriver in front of anyone else.
There’s zero supporting evidence and a pile of contrary evidence to Binks secretly fixing the podracer.
This “clue” has too many inherent self-contradictions with zero definitive supporting evidence.
I do like that there is a circuitry panel nearby Binks according to a ship diagram, although the panel is not within reaching distance, Binks isn’t making any gestures toward the circuitry and the circuitry is not available or visible.