It could be a David Foster Wallace reference. “In the eighth American-educational grade, Bruce Green fell dreadfully in love with a classmate who had the unlikely name of Mildred Bonk. The name was unlikely because if ever an eighth-grader looked like a Daphne Christianson or a Kimberly St.-Simone or something like that, it was Mildred Bonk.”

There are some old interviews with George RR Martin where people ask him about various characters, and GRRM would adjust his pronounciation to match the person asking the question. So he’s pronouncing names differently in different interviews depending on how others pronounce them. I wonder if it is to make the other person comfortable, or if he just doesn’t have a canon pronounciation.

A good story about a bad day doesn’t have to be about complaining. It can be about learning from mistakes, a strange irony, the absurdity of coinciding factors, etc.

I guess it becomes a matter of strategy. Maybe progressive women aren’t the ones who need to hear it the most, and they may feel offended at the suggestion that other women could be part of reinforcing the patriarchy. It mirrors the way men are asked to shut down other mens sexist remarks and actions. I’m sure such behavior is prevalent, but I never witness it. So the question to me is, how do we communicate this whole thing to women as a group? The ones willing to listen aren’t the ones who need to hear it, and the ones who need to hear it are probably not willing to listen.

Yes, that’s a good point. And maybe sort of the reason I’m interested in these topics, is trying to figure out how to influence the social circles around me.

I agree that those are sane approaches. I do think that there can be immediate unintended consequences. If someone didn’t pay for a meal, there’s propably less chance of a second date. Etc.
I imagine women went through similar consequences while entering traditionally masculine jobs and behavior.
What I’m getting at is that I think that we often think that this pressure is all in our minds, and to some extent that’s true, but there are many stories of men opening up and being vulnerable and then their partners lose attraction. That’s a hard sell to young men. “Yes, you will be alone forever, but it’s necessary because in a couple of generations from now things might be better.”

By refusing to take part in the hierarchy of dominance you will eventually be subject to a more general and, frankly, human set of standards.

You mention some examples, like defending your partner from a mugger, calling out your boss when treated unfairly, paying for meals, etc.
Let’s say a man stopped doing those things, what do you think the immediate and short term consequences would be?

Maybe I am hung up on the word, but I feel more forced into it. I don’t feel bad about myself for failing to live up to that standard, it’s more feeling unvalued as a person, as myself. It’s an external invalidation.

I have actually never felt entitled to these things. What I mostly feel is a responsibility. If something breaks I’m supposed to know how to fix it. Because of this I have become good at fixing things. If we are lost I’m supposed to find where we are, so I study maps before I go somewhere new. If a decision needs to be made, again, eyes turn to me, so I need to know a little about everything, and never look indecisive. If an unexpected expense comes up, I need to have money saved away for this purpose. The punishment for failing things like this is not disapproval from other men or feeling less masculine. The punishment is that I’m viewed as less by my girlfriend. This is how I think things go hand in hand. By helping women get empowered, we can share responsibilities. By women helping us feel valued for ourselves, worthy of love, desired as we are, we don’t need to constantly fear being seen as less… then, I don’t know. Maybe it would also lead to men feeling safer to be better human beings. The impossible dilemma now, for me, is that I’m still expected to be successful in the traditionally masculine things, while at the same time not being successful in the traditionally masculine things. No way to win.

thread as in threaded posts as opposed to other parts of the fediverse with another layout. it’s not about the instance Threads, but the type of fediverse service allowing a lemmy/kbin type of conversation.

Ubuntu (2007) >> Arch (2009) >> Debian (2014) >> Fedora (2024)
Plus now and then installing OpenBSD for fun for a couple of months at a time.

You are more than welcome to remove the need for any passwords at all on the linux systems you admin. Good thing about free software is that you decide how you want it, hack up or put up.

Hm, not that I remember. My memory isn’t the best though.

The difference, and the best part of the fediverse imho, is that if you’re not happy with someone elses rules you can become your own admin and set your own rules. The more we centralize power the further we go against that idea.

On my laptop with nvidia (msi, debian 12), if I unplug the charger the screen orientation goes from landscape to portrait, everything is tilted 90 degrees. I hate this laptop, so I rarely use it.

Ah, I see. It seems like you’re not the only one wanting this behavior, there is a workaround that might work: https://github.com/linuxmint/nemo/issues/2085#issuecomment-487007720

Are you using Caja file manager? If there’s no setting, it could be that the authors of that file manager just wanted it that way. You can try other file managers like thunar and see if they are different?

I picked some this year and made a nice potato soup with mixed in wild garlic. Simple and good.

If you ever do write with pen and paper, it takes little effort to focus on just one improvement. A first step could be to try to get a consistent height of letters. When I’m in a hurry my “o” and “i” become way smaller than, say, “e”. Just a quick look when you’re done writing and a reflection like “next time I’ll try to make this letter as tall as that letter when I write”. When all lower case letter are as tall, focus on something else, like ascender height or baseline. Maybe your “l” tilts more than your “t”, then that’s a good thing to fix. One small step at a time.

Things you can do in finland: tango, fight with knives, computer stuff.