I’ve been binge drinking on the weekends for 20 something years and I stopped drinking 11 days ago and it’s going well. I feel optimistic. It’s intimidating, but for the first time I’m not afraid of the thought that I can’t drink in the future. I’m excited for it. I don’t HAVE to not drink. I GET to not drink and it feels different this time.

Warehouse manager came in early (it wasn’t me)

Saw the pallets on the floor lookin’ swirly (it wasn’t me)

Thousands worth of product shattered (it wasn’t me)

Said my forklift skills don’t matter (it wasn’t me)

I hereby claim that the law was broken! Arrest Elon!

I was going to go out and do some racist shit today, but I saw that the NFL wanted to end it, so now I’m seriously reconsidering said racist shit.