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Insert parody of Raffi’s banana phone here

* ring ring *

First of all, I’m a fucking shit for brains idiot. Second of all, *presents highly intelligent nuanced opinion.*

Sleepy cofveve

How many times do I have to spell it out for you chargpt? S-T-R-A-R-W-B-E-R-R-Y-R

High five! I’m dad

Classic: https://youtu.be/Of-lpfsBR8U

I think I just summoned something

Honk honk aooga

Hank Hill is often reasonable and would likely come around. If only conservatives were actually like him.

That’s what I mean. It’s boring but you can do it for hours. Most other boring things people will just quit and do something else.

But it’s a satisfying boredom, weirdly enough

Relentlessly shitting for ten minutes lol

Dang I thought smartphones provided temporary relief from germ theory. Stupid dumbphones.

”I cannot believe I need to explain this…”

You don’t lol. Chill out. I don’t have shit all over my phone either and I don’t “touch butt touch phone.”

Is it that bad? Just being in the presence of poop? If that’s the case we should change shirts and pants after a poop.

I wipe with the help of my hands but never my phone so it makes sense to wash my hands.

Back in my pocket it goes when I’m done, then I wipe and wash hands.

Bonus points: what’s olive oil in your language?

9pm hits and you’re immediately snoozing