My favorite clean joke, what do call a ship on the ocean floor that twitches? A nervous wreck.

This wouldn’t be half as funny if I wasn’t married.

Can you imagine if Nebraska Spiderman was more like a wolf spider? Just jumping out at MFs.

Black roof country, no gold pavements, tired starlings

When you read this comic, does the spider have a masculine voice or a feminine voice? I feel like it changes the context a little.

Like anything, You have to pay extra for that…

Or maybe strapped to a tree in a forest full of hungry horny grizzly bears. Is that better?

We call it a 3:45 ass…

https://youtu.be/JcGVXr4M8T0?si=CifxiW8eEel4A_Gt

This is one of my favorite stories, second only to the princess and the pee.

“I want to know what it feels like for someone to shit in my mouth, but I’m shy…”

I binge watched Wilfred, and afterward I watched a movie called “Maniac”. If you haven’t seen it, Elijah Wood is murdering young women in a first-person view. It felt like a very dark series finale.

I kind of like:

Crocodiles?! Do not swim here?

Maybe the commie antifa super soldiers were the friends we made along the way.

To be honest, I’ve always wanted to buy one and turn it into a camping van.

He is lousy with them.