AcidSmiley [she/her]

yeah this, youtube inb particular is entirely unusable without an adblocker

It’s fortunately not as bad as that everywhere, and there’s also different developments. A pretty large part of society is becoming more accepting of us, not just tolerant, but actually caring and genuinely curious and willing to help where they can. I’ve had overwhelmingly positive reactions when i came out, i actually have more and deeper friendships than i used to, there’s loads of wonderful, kind, supportive people out there.

But there’s this backlash at the same time, and in the areas and milieus where that’s happening, it’s really terrifying and awful.

Here’s an overwiew: https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2023/03/anti-trans-transgender-health-care-ban-legislation-bill-minors-children-lgbtq/

Also i know a ton of older trans people who were already out 20 years ago. There’s more of us not repressing our transness today, sure, and just 5 years ago i would’ve agreed with you that things have improved massively, but the last few yeasrs have been outright terrifying, there’s a very real backlash against trans rights and it is bankrolled with a ton of money from reactionary activists in the US, but also Brazil, the UK, the EU, Russia and the gulf states. Hate crimes are increasing,t his years’ pride season was full of attacks and vilification as well. Queerphobia is taking over as the right’s new favorite form of bigottry. Things are getting rough out there, i’ve regularly seen requests about migrating to Europe from American and British trans people during the last year, until the majority recently changed to posts like “im stuck in Florida and can’t leave, what happens to my body when i can’t take HRT (hormone replacement therapy) anymore?” Talks about where to move to when things turn south are fairly common among us nowadays, as are plans to arm and organize for community self defense.

Go play in traffic, you transphobic pig.

Your insistence on ordering trans people around and telling us if we´re allowed to find open misgenderings to be offensive would be laughable if it wouldn’t be so disgusting. Pronouns are not a polite request to pretty please tone down your transphobia out of the kindness of your heart, respecting our pronouns is the absolute bare minimum of respect you can show towards us.

I hope the world treats you with more compassion and respect in the future.

Gee, thanks for your pity, but i don’t need that. Most of my friends are cis and i know what it’s like when cis people treat me with compassion and respect, as most people are actually capable of that. It’s not that hard. They listen when i voice my grievances and understand that i have a different, yet valid perspective on such things than them, and that they can learn something from that to be more inclusive in the future. Probably because they understand that calling out transphobia doesn’t mean calling somebody a transphobe. I would’ve used different language than that if my impression would have been malice instead of ignorance.

Every. Single. Fucking. Time. I point out misgendering and some cissie has the fucking nerve to argue with me why blatantly degendering women, a common smear tactic among British terfs btw, isn’t a bad thing akshually. “oH i’M oNlY dOiG tHiS wHeN gEnDeR iSn’T rElEvAnT”, the fuck are you talking about, respecting trans people’s gender is ALWAYS relevant, you do not get to decide on this. This is our decision alone, to deny trans people the autonomy over their gendered self expresion and gender recognition is a textbook case of transphobia.

To make this perfectly clear: There is ONE, just ONE, correct response when somebody calls you out for misgendering somebody. It’s apologizing and correcting your mistake. That’s a tiny thing to do and takes a fraction of the time it takes to argue with me, and it will cause you one millionth of the distress you’re up for when you act transphobic in my presence. If she would be fine with being they / themed, she would have given they / them as a second set of pronouns. Why is that so hard to understand?

Economic coercion is a problem in sex work, but it is one that cannot ever be adressed by any policy only targeting conditions around sex work, but exclusively by policies that directly remove the coercive conditions under the rule of capital. No anti-sex work law will remove the fact that people see no choice but entering survival sex work, or migrating from the periphery into the center to work as prostitutes. The only way to prevent that is to end poverty and i know i do not have to explain to you what that entails, we’re in agreement on that.

This comment is also not entirely directed at your reply, it’s more about the general line of thinking that started this comment chain. I’m not under the impression that most sex workers are abducted victims of human trafficking, that’s a line of thinking that is always brough tup by swerfs and never backed up with any evidence, i think that your remark towards economic coercion is much closer to the core problem at play here.

She’s a hexbear user. We have pronoun tags for a reason. She doesn’t state they/them as her pronouns so please edit your post to not misgender her.

I understand the sentiment, but “buying consent” is a difficult line of thinking when you follow it all the way through.

I don’t think that idea holds much water in all cases. It often does, but you cannot apply it universally to all sex work. That’s because you can’t just “buy consent”, a sex worker still has very specific conditons for giving you conditional consent that only extends to a select number of specified acts, to certain time frames, certain areas of their body and so on, and they can revoke that consent when things turn south because the john starts to behave badly. And ultimately, all consensual sexual acts are in some ways conditional, even if it’s the unspoken agreements in vanilla heteronormative relationships. It takes a massive level of trust and the knowledge that your partner will always intuitively accept your boundaries to allow them to do what they want with you and actually mean it. And when i look at it that way, i do not think that you can just override somebody’s ability to consent by giving them money. There is already some form of consent to these acts involved when somebody agrees to pick up that line of work. It’s difficult to say where that ends, moreso than in sexual realtions outside of sex work, i’d fully agree to that, and that’s highly problematic, but it’s not as clearcut as “all sex work is a form of SA because you bought consent the sex worker normally wouldn’t have given to you”.

(rest of the post is just general musings not directed at you, comrade, i’m only putting them here because i think this works better in one post).

That said, i’m very much not a fan of people buying sex work, and yes, that includes porn. Sorry guys, i know that most of you can’t nut on your own without this stuff, for reasons i’ve always failed to understand, but it’s how it is. The reason for my attitude isn’t that i disagree with sex work per se, my support actually always lies with the workers and puts their concerns first, which is why i DO NOT support failed approaches like the “Nordic Model”, which aims to only punish buying sex work, but effectively worsens risks for sex workers, increases deportations of sex workers without papers etc. My concern rather lies with the inherent coerciveness of all transactional relations under capitalism. When you listen to a typical socdem SWERF like German SPD member Leni Braimeyer (surprise, she’s also a massive terf), who is pushing for the “Nordic Model” instead of the legalized prostitution we see in Germany today, there is not only a total, ultra-patronizing lack of recognizing the agency of sex workers, there’s also a complete obliviousness to the economic conditions that determine how prostitution works in Germany, as yet another form of exploiting the economic imbalances in the EU and supplying German capital with a constant supply of workers who have to take increasingly awful deals out of pauiperization and desparation, as well as an increasingly precarious situation for the lower incomes among the German working class. It’s these conditions that give rise to prostitution as an area of mass exploitation, and ending capitalist relations is the only way to amend the problem that a majority of sex workers are in a lopsided economic situation that is the actual threat to their agency and their ability to fully consent.

Hard to be inclusive when the response to almost anything and everything is to call someone a “shitlib” and dip, unless you mean inclusively exclusive by insulting everyone.

As a trans woman, i’ve never felt safe in liberal spaces, and the reason for that is largely debatebro shitheads like you who violently fight back against anything that challenges your notion of living in the best of all possible worlds, which reliably happens to include my own experiences with and thoughts on transphobia, mysogyny, classism and other forms of structural oppression and their intersections. Anytime i’ve done that in public online spaces that aren’t exclusively trans, i’ve been browbeaten, called into doubt and silenced. I’ve never had that on hexbear. Let’s not even begin with the fact that i’ve never had to explain to a hexbear mod what constitutes transphobia because half of the mod team is trans themselves, or that pronoun tags are mandatory, or that we’ve systematically banned anybody making a fuss about either of that.

Hexbear has actually put in the work to be a queer-inclusive space. And it has done that precisely by being brutally intolerant and absolutely belligerent to queerphobes instead of doing the liberal thing of empty gestures of tolerance while upholding the status quo that maims us. Meanwhile, anything you’ve ever done on lemmy is posting passive-aggressive one-liners and anti-communist garbage. Go fuck yourself.

That’s the main reason why nationalist chauvinists like OP hate Stalin.