I know that it has significant meaning to me but I struggle putting it into words to explain it to other people (especially other dya cis people). So like a few years ago I was thinking about if I may be trans femme. I have since realised that no, actually I was just struggling with it for a while because I don’t relate to the gender roles and expectations society puts on men. I now identify more strongly with being a man than ever before, and I love being a man in a gender-way. I just absolutely hate being a man in a “what role men have in society”-way.
My experience was similar, gender felt like an external expectation, mostly a limiting one, growing up as a girl. I didn’t really internalize it besides accepting that it shapes how strangers receive and respond to me just like being short or ugly does.
That was my experience as a boy and now a man. It isn’t inherently a negative thing because it is shorthand for expectations, but it becomes absolutely horrible when people try to force it on others instead of acknowledging that gender roles are generalizations and not written in stone.