Boyfriend of 2 years (best friend of 6) just told me he’s started seeing someone else. No discussion. Just ghosted me for a week and hit me with this news. Thought he was my soulmate, lmao. I feel like someone just ripped out my insides. Just turned 31 this year, this shit is not any easier than when I was a teenager.
How did you make it through that first night? The second? The third? Is it really just time? I feel like my body is too old to survive another heartbreak.
I’ve tried many things in this situations (seeing other girls, distracting with alcohol/drugs, etc) but they all just seem to alleviate the pain when they just throw it under the rug for a while.
For me, the best way to handle this has been to face my pain altogether. This pain does not come from this event. It is my own ancient pain that has been triggered by my now ex. Staying with the pain, listening to it, feeling it in your body and letting it be there is a transformative act.
I recommend listening to Pema Chödron’s videos or books. Maybe “When things fall apart”. I personally have been helped a lot by doing the “tonglen” meditation.