So I was diagnosed with ADHD in my late thirties and before that I was a mess, job to job etc. then got lucky and worked for a company that afforded me the chance to study for my dream job without work pressure.
I am now a software developer and although I went from being the smartest person in the groups I roamed to the dumbest person at work I still have half a foot in my old life of drugs and poor decisions (although the usage has dropped by 95% and I’ve got a good routine and go to bed early).
I feel like a pretentious dick when at a party and someone asks what I do for work, I kinda feel ashamed saying I’m a software developer. Like a fraud I guess.
How to stop this?
It sounds like you’re feeling imposter syndrome, which is normal. Just try to realize that you do belong, you made it because of your own hard work, and you aren’t alone in those feelings.
It’s honestly rare to meet a developer without imposter syndrome - It’s something we all suffer from.