I think the identity of men is unstable nowdays.
A lot of people don’t know what is to be a man today, so they go back to the old ways when it’s was simple for then and bad for woman.
The nuances and uncertainty of modern life is too much for some people usually need success model’s to follow to feel safe.
It’s not the identity of males that is the problem … it’s the loss of power, privilege and status and the idea that males, especially white males are supposed to be equals to every other human on the planet.
The fact that this is changing is what is very upsetting to males … especially white males.
Most humans wants to be privileged and fulfilled.
The question is how to get there.
The male privilege can vary drastically.Let’s say you’re talking about a poor white man or a wealthy one. Wealthy white man still has patriarchal families and tradicional values.
The poor and middle class man are the most affected, they don’t know how to progress to get the milestones of life, so they search for answers on how to behave, how to get a job, how to create a family, how to be respected.
So they build a identity of a man to be portrayed in society, this can lead to integration of toxic masculinity traits, it will also get worse with isolation, but a stable and reasonable person can help listening and speaking about the challenges.
It’s not just men. My mother was pushed down the FaceTube YouBook weaponized disinformation rabbit hole.
It’s outrage porn… They LOVE being angry at ‘the system’ or ‘corporations’ or ‘the WHO’ etc. etc.
Yes, there’s a lot of stupid corrupt shit going on, but posting on social media is the most impotent thing a person could do to make a difference. (Yes, I appreciate the irony.)
Yup, we had a disagreement about the electrical grid, and she insisted that green power would result in province-wide blackouts every night or whenever the wind stopped blowing. I sent her the power generation mix from the Electricity System Operator, showing that renewables accounted for a single-digit percentage point of the generating capacity of the province… Nope, “Why can’t you just respect what I believe?” “Because you’re full of shit?” click
Frankly, I don’t trust anyone who’s not angry at corporations, but otherwise I tale your point.
It seems like the common thread is men not feeling like their problems are heard.
The internet and decline in friendship are partly responsible, but men’s groups that tried to form in my town had police called on them and the fire alarms pulled, and people with megaphones would yell over them and they got doxxed and harassed.
I know that these “feminists” were a small group and thought that these men getting together was going to hurt them, and some of the men were shitty, but they ended up silencing men online and off so that only the scummiest people became the ones standing up for men’s rights, so now that’s who the majority voices are.
Men do have serious issues: there’s parental rights and family court, there’s still the breadwinner expectation and unemployed men find themselves divorced at high rates, men taking parental leave are punished by fewer and worse job offers, the education system isn’t serving men well (as evidenced by both low achievement and high rates of medication), and men largely don’t see the point of pursuing higher education. There’s also addiction and suicide, the lack of support networks, feeling excluded from safe places in the way women’s shelters exist (these used to exist commonly in communities, without being toxic “boys clubs”). I’d bet a lot of men have gotten in trouble for pouring their feelings out to a partner too, I have, it hurts.
Those are all real and big problems, on top of the existing problems for everyone of life getting more unaffordable, good paying jobs being hard to find (long gone are the factory workers supporting a family of 6).
What these influencers are peddling are: easy answers (that are also largely wrong, things like blaming women), an easy to identify with ideal (the strong alpha male with cash and toys and hot girls and no fucks to give), selection bias/self made man bias (in truth nobody is self made), and an approachable “I have the answers, and you can too if you listen to me” persona.
I don’t know what the answer is, but I’d bet that working on addressing these issues (especially education and finance) for younger men would dry up the audiences of these influencers.
People don’t have hope for the future, and it’s killing them .
Edit: I should clarify I’m all for feminism, I’m egalitarian, the “feminists” alludes to the small group who pretend to be for women but they’re actually just anti-men. Almost all feminists and women are not in that group, they’re the female incel equivalent.
but men’s groups that tried to form in my town had police called on them and the fire alarms pulled, and people with megaphones would yell over them and they got doxxed and harassed.
Where did this happen? Why would people prevent men from forming groups? That sound completely surreal to me (Germany).
Canada, they were branded as sexists/misogynists before even having a meeting.
I do think there is an attack on masculinity that is going unaddressed and this is a huge issue that if that was solved issues like this wouldn’t arrise.
If you ever speak about it, it just goes the old “you’re a man you have life on easy don’t you know how hard it is to be X” or “that’s not the way the world is any more you are stuck in the 40’s” or " you need to be thinking about X and how men make them feel and you need to do better even though you haven’t done anything wrong you’re responsible."
Boys and men want some shithousary, they want some aggression and they want to be tough. But they don’t get the support in a lot of ways I did even a few years ago.
Guys don’t want to be weak and breakdown and cry and talk about their feelings, they want to be part of a group that supports each other and helps each other grow and be tougher. But when guys are wrestling and calling each other cunts or whatever that isn’t healthy, they should be asking each other about their emotions and what not. I’m just convinced men aren’t built like that and building the world away from the old systems isn’t good for men.
They need a group where they can go and relax and shithouse. Things like scouts, full contract sport, boys groups, mens groups in the pub. That does more for my mental health and most guys mental health than any of the stuff being pushed now. What we need to push is society is community and I think men need that more than they need anything else, just look at loneliness levels. Secondly it’s probably purpose, being seen as tough and a provider.
That’s what men crave and there is such a severe lack of that community that it is taken from twats like Tate because there is no other option.
If you ever speak about it, it just goes the old “you’re a man you have life on easy don’t you know how hard it is to be X” or “that’s not the way the world is any more you are stuck in the 40’s” or " you need to be thinking about X and how men make them feel and you need to do better even though you haven’t done anything wrong you’re responsible."
Stop talking with the voices in your head. It helps a lot.
I’m just convinced men aren’t built like that
I’m a man and I’m build like that. How about not making generalizations about like half the population of earth. Some men want do MMA, some do want talk about feelings and some might even want to do both. There is no one size fit them all approach to masculinity. And it was never about, making traditional manly man any less manly. It is about realizing that we are all different and no-one is less human or men because we don’t fit in some box.
We need to find a way against algorithms that benefit radicalization.
The only winning move is not to play. Don’t use platforms that do this.
That does not solve anything, since people are drawn to platforms with easy accessible content they enjoy. People will use those platforms. The problem is that algorithms will recommend you radicalizing content. And it’s an extremely complex task to solve. I would have no idea where to beginn, except better education - but that’s something that will take a generation to work out.
