Parents who hate parenting misses their old selfish lives. Being a (good) parent means you no longer can be selfish and your life is no longer about you.
That might seem grim, but what you get in return is a little human that looks up at you. That holds your hands because you are their world to them.
Let go of your selfish lives and learn to enjoy your new selfless life.
Yeah, you can be a good parent and still miss your old life. Also, your previous life wasn’t necessarily “selfish” - what kind of bleak, one-dimensional outlook is this?
You can love your kid, love to spend time with them, and still want to go to that one event, concert, knitting group, cookout, rave party, bike ride, marathon, whatever. Often, you can integrate your kid once they’re old enough, and at other times you’ll have to sacrifice your plans, maybe not getting together with an old friend you haven’t seen in a while. If that makes you feel a little sad and disappointed, that’s called being a human being with nuanced emotions, not being selfish.
Being a good parent is about loving your kid, trying to integrate them, spending quality time with them, all while staying healthy, emotionally balanced and hopefully teaching your kid how to achieve just that.
I never said it’s not ok to be selfish. It’s perfectly ok to care about yourself. Because that’s is the only mouth you have to feed. Once it becomes 2, you have to let go of that feeling of a fair life. It’s not fair.
See it as you paying taxes for your school. School needs to exist for a functioning society. Private school leads to wealth gap and badness for everyone. If you wanna live in a nice place, you have to pay taxes.
The kid who one day might be your doctor, or care taker at an elder people’s home, or responsible for a lot of civil infrastructure; are you that certain their education doesn’t benefit you? Not you mention, you yourself had your education paid by other people’s taxes, if you were ever in the public school system, so consider this your way to pay back for that.
It’s not guaranteed you’ll enjoy it or be good at it. That would be a huge gamble to take with my own life, but if there’s a kid involved I’m gambling with their life, too. I could never do something like that in good conscience.
There is no “Fair” when you become a parent.
Parents who hate parenting misses their old selfish lives. Being a (good) parent means you no longer can be selfish and your life is no longer about you.
That might seem grim, but what you get in return is a little human that looks up at you. That holds your hands because you are their world to them.
Let go of your selfish lives and learn to enjoy your new selfless life.
Yeah, you can be a good parent and still miss your old life. Also, your previous life wasn’t necessarily “selfish” - what kind of bleak, one-dimensional outlook is this?
You can love your kid, love to spend time with them, and still want to go to that one event, concert, knitting group, cookout, rave party, bike ride, marathon, whatever. Often, you can integrate your kid once they’re old enough, and at other times you’ll have to sacrifice your plans, maybe not getting together with an old friend you haven’t seen in a while. If that makes you feel a little sad and disappointed, that’s called being a human being with nuanced emotions, not being selfish.
Being a good parent is about loving your kid, trying to integrate them, spending quality time with them, all while staying healthy, emotionally balanced and hopefully teaching your kid how to achieve just that.
I never said it’s not ok to be selfish. It’s perfectly ok to care about yourself. Because that’s is the only mouth you have to feed. Once it becomes 2, you have to let go of that feeling of a fair life. It’s not fair.
No
Sure
Yeah, my parents let go of the selfishness of wanting three meals a day and they never forgave me for it.
Terrible parents do terrible things. If you ever become a parent, you now know what not to do.
lol no: demanding society cater to your choice to have a child is not “selfless”
Im not jesus. I don’t demand nothing from you. You do you.
Last I checked, my taxes pay for your kids’ school, so…
I love kids, wish I’d had my own, but it is not “selfless.” That’s just you justifying what you wanted
See it as you paying taxes for your school. School needs to exist for a functioning society. Private school leads to wealth gap and badness for everyone. If you wanna live in a nice place, you have to pay taxes.
My taxes pay for your fire department and police services and road you drive on. I never had a house fire once.
You live if a society. Our collective taxes go to these services for a better today and a better tomorrow.
The kid who one day might be your doctor, or care taker at an elder people’s home, or responsible for a lot of civil infrastructure; are you that certain their education doesn’t benefit you? Not you mention, you yourself had your education paid by other people’s taxes, if you were ever in the public school system, so consider this your way to pay back for that.
It is not selfish to choose not to procreate.
The smugness of parents who say people who choose differently are selfish is a great example of how parenthood can make someone a worse person.
It’s not guaranteed you’ll enjoy it or be good at it. That would be a huge gamble to take with my own life, but if there’s a kid involved I’m gambling with their life, too. I could never do something like that in good conscience.
Well, not receive can do it.
Haha yes if you get a nice grateful one in the genetic lottery. Supposedly.
Is decades of debt worth it? Hard pass.
Honestly, money is money. It’s just a number in your account. You can’t put a price tag on your own kids.