I’ve never dropped an N bomb. Normal people don’t, and that is absolutely not what internalized or ingrained racism refers to. It refers to the more insidious subconscious racist tendencies, those which I do fall prey to and have to actively unlearn the same as anyone else. The kind of overt racism you’re describing is not the same, and has never been justifiable or explainable, it’s just disgusting and racist. If you truly think everyone else goes around using racial slurs, you absolutely need a reality check and probably some serious amends making, you fucking weirdo