Because he knows what you’re doing with that c-note, you degenerate.

It probably has to do with how long they had to sit still for a portrait back then

he just ate something super sour

He was running a newspaper before he hit puberty, what have you done of equal note?

“If we had your levels of productivity in my day I’d have dived headfirst into a pool of prostitutes and not come out for a decade for anything but more booze and cigars, you pussies.”