Not like “I went to school with one” but have had an actual friendship?
I’ve had a couple of conversations recently where people have confidently said things about the Black community that are ridiculously incorrect. The kind of shit where you can tell they grew up in a very white community and learned about Black history as a college freshman.
Disclaimer: I am white, but I grew up in a Black neighborhood. I was one of 3 white kids in my elementary school lol, including my brother.
My whole family is racist, so I’ve spent a lot of time un-learning shit while being mindful of my subconscious biases. The last time I was with my family, I had to leave the room because they were all sitting in a circle talking about how black people are genetically inferior. Literally, that’s just how they spend some evenings, being overtly racist to each other.
I’ve had a few black friends throughout my life, all wildly different. One was a stuffy nerd with alopecia. One was a little person grunge rock bass player. One is the most eloquent, kind, and fanciful gay man I’ve ever met.
There is one, lone insight I think I’ve gleaned from my experiences with black culture. My family often complains about black people being loud, and I think I have an understanding as to why they sometimes are. One is, like you said, they aren’t as afraid to express emotion and that can be as loud as the strength of the emotions. Another reason, I think, is that throughout history they have been marginalized, ignored, and forced to live in out-of-the-way areas. This is not lost on them. I think a way of reclaiming their humanity is in reclaiming their right to be seen and heard. They are THERE. You can ignore them and the issues facing them but you cannot ignore 24" subwoofers. You can’t ignore bright colors, dazzling chrome, and the shaking hydraulics of a lifted car.
Also, I’m with you. Whenever black folk are around, I just feel safer. Like, when I go out, I fear right wing nutjobs and their violence, and that just feels less likely to occur when I’m around non-white people. If I’m somewhere and there’s only other white people, I’m nervous because one of them is guaranteed a brain dead red-tin-foil-hat wearing psychopath, and with no minorities around he’s likely to let everybody know exactly how racist he is.
Hey there, runaway cousin! I too have racist family members that speak that crap and have also been in other environments where the central point of a conversation is to devalue and hate others. I have tried to ride it out hoping that I can either ignore it, excuse it, or even have a helpful impact, but I have gotten to the point that I just can’t. It is disgusting. I cannot tolerate that hate circle jerk and feel shameful for even have knowingly been a witness to it. Now, I have completely cut off my sister for months in part because of her hate. If it’s not one group, it’s another. In my experience, the thing is that it doesn’t just stop there. It’s part of a whole social complex that is terrible for me. Not only do I have to bear the shame of it, but there are other matters as well. I cannot function in that environment.
I think that was beautifully said! ❤️❤️❤️ Additionally, they have been told that everything they like is bad solely because they like it, so they are being proud of having their own taste and are showing it off. So to them, I say: Drive around town, blast that system, and pump those hydraulics! I’m proud of your taste too and thanks for being you. 🥹😆🥳