“It’s been brought to my attention that many people were not mollified by my previous apology, so let’s do it again. I’m sorry you people are too stupid and selfish to understand our first apology, and we want you to know that we will continue to make promises we can’t keep, we will continue to put shareholders above customers, and we will continue to justify our shitty behavior with bullshit semantics because we have learned nothing from this experience. Sincerely, Fuck You.”