I know this is a low effort post - please forgive me.

  • Stamets [Mirror]@startrek.websiteEnglish
    19·
    1 year ago

    Hi, I’m Stamets and I’ll be your Meme-orial Menagerie Manager today. If you’re looking for Delta Quadrant Memes and the height of luxury? Then Picard is your guy. Feel more seedy and wanna experience some illegal memes? Check out Xusontha. For an immediate rush look no further than Lydia. NegativeNull is your man if you want to just get zooted beyond booted. Umm is our resident Chillaxing expert. You’ve got Armus for your reliable tar, badumtiss, that can get you through anything. Then there’s Steph for experimental memes. They’ve been trying this new thing called ‘Kevin’. Supposed to replace Rom. Was a big hit for a while but personally I think they’re just whipping up something else. Then the new kid on the block just proving themself is Blackout. Nothings known about him beyond the fact that they once killed a man with a pencil. Like a mechanical pencil. Seriously! They just took the pencil and gave it to them and the next thing you know that dude ended up signing the consent form for our new patented Suicide Booth. Well I say patented. More like borrowed from an alternate dimension. We also have a slew of experts in their own right, just waiting for you to take a taste of their product. Go ahead. Take a look.

    Any questions?

    • Fluke McHappenstance@snake.substantialplumbing.repairEnglish
      8·
      1 year ago

      What the hell did you just frikkin’ say about me, you little chimp? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class at Starfleet Academy, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on the Borg, and I have over 300 confirmed executions of General Order 24. I am trained in ship-to-ship warfare and I’m the top tactical officer in all of Starfleet. You are nothing to me but just another redshirt. I will wipe you the hell out with attack patterns the likes of which has never been seen before in this quadrant, mark my goddamn words. You think you can get away with saying that stuff to me over subspace? Think again. As we speak I am contacting section 31 and your subspace signature is being traced right now so you better prepare for the ion storm, maggot. The ion storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re goddamn dead, ensign. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with self-sealing stem bolts. Not only am I extensively trained in zero-G combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of Starfleet and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable existence off the face of the galaxy, you little chimp. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your goddamn tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will blast fury all over you and you will drown in it. You are dead, ensign. Dismissed

    • jawa21@lemmy.sdf.orgOPEnglish
      8·
      1 year ago

      I’ve been lurking for months now, though this is all appreciated. (Admittedly, I changed accounts). I’d like to at least contribute here finally. This low effort thing was about me showing the glory to a friend. It descended into a spiral of having to explain at least 3 seasons of TNG, the basics of DS9, and way too much of Voyager as they finally just took a nap while I rambled.